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The Curious Case Of The Denim Jersey

SSC Napoli’s 2014-15 Away Jersey has all the elegance of drunken bull riding

Italy: a bastion of suave sophistication. It is the country that brought us Ferrari, Armani and the Cappuccino. It bestowed upon us the art and architecture of Da Vinci, the political reasoning of Machiavelli, the literature of Dante and the silver-screened beauty of Sophia Loren. And now, hot from the streets of Naples, it brings us its latest gift in sartorial elegance: the denim soccer jersey. Not since USA 1994 and Alexi Lalas has a team looked so terribly in fashion:

Alexi Lalas in denim for USA in 2994

Alexi Lalas, Urban Soccer Cowboy circa 1994 (Photo: @sebinomics | Twitter)

One can only wonder what it is that sparks the thought that denim for athletes is a good idea. Nevertheless, 20 years later, it looks like denim is making another brave appearance.

Not content with having forced their players into camouflage last season, the powers-that-be at SSC Napoli have decided to launch an all-out assault on taste and common decency with a kit that resembles the attire of a washed-up cowboy.

  Napoli Denim

Purportedly in line with their “athletic style philosophy,” SSC Napoli and the Macron style office (a misnomer if ever there was one) have delivered a uniform, in their words, “based on high-design concepts and on custom made items.” We’re not entirely sure what that means, but “we got smashed on Limoncello last night and this is the result” is probably a good interpretation.

It’s rare that The18 is lost for words, but on this occasion you can color us befuddled. A picture screams a million obscenities, so we simply suggest you relax, go with the flow, and luxuriate in the absurd visual feast that is a professional football team playing in faux denim.

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