Mechanic Scores Greatest Rabona Of All Time

Welcome to the lower depths of English football, where the pitches are 90% mud, the players have proper jobs and attendances are in double figures. Welcome to a place where you can bring your dog to watch football and the subs’ bench is just that. Welcome, my friends, to the Football Conference.

But don’t let us fool you into thinking the Conference is some sort of footballing hovel. Lord no. As we’re about to demonstrate, the Conference is home to the man responsible for possibly the finest Rabona ever scored.

Jim Carrey And Jeff Daniels Attempt To Talk About Soccer

In an attempt to promote their new movie Dumb and Dumber To, Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels took a tour of Arsenal’s home stadium, the Emirates. When they were not appreciating relics of Arsenal lore, which they probably did not care for, Jim and Jeff answered a few questions concerning Arsenal, their past experiences with English football, Alexis Sanchez, and, of course, their new movie. Ever the funny guys, laughter quickly ensued. 

Messi Gets Hit In The Head With A Water Bottle, Gets A Yellow Card

Lionel Messi got hit in the head by a water bottle and some change after angry Valencia fans couldn’t contain themselves following the club’s 1-0 loss to the Blaugrana on Sunday. 

Valencia played Barcelona tough throughout the match and actually had more opportunities then the Catalans, but they could not beat Barcelona goalkeeper Claudio Bravo. Luis Suarez thought he had given Barcelona the lead when he buried a deflection in the 69th minute; however, he was wrongly called offside.

Goalie Does It Again! This Time With A 92-Foot Punt Assist.

He’s back! Nat Tehran goalkeeper Alireza Beiranvand made news last week when he launched a pass from his own 18 yard line to 20 yards past the halfway line, which spurred a one-touch goal from 30 yards out by teammate Gholamreza Rezaei. 

This time, instead of flexing his arm muscles, the Iranian keeper booted a punt from his own box all the way to the Persepolis 18 yard line, which teammate Amir Arsalan Motahari headed into the net on his first touch, giving Naft Tehran a 2-1 victory in the 92nd minute. 

Striker Scores A Goal With His Crotch, Pays Price

It has been said that the price of glory is the one debt that no man can avoid.

If this next video is anything to go off, it would seem that only men cannot avoid it.

When Wayne Curtis stepped onto the pitch back in 2005, you can bet he was willing to put it all on the line in order to make sure his team won. Little did he know, that day “it all” would also include the livelihoods of future unborn generations of the Curtis Clan.

The Worst Flop Of All-Time

Embarrassed? Ashamed? Those are two things that Leeds United midfielder Adryan might be feeling after he sees footage from the club's match against Derby County this past weekend. 

The Brazilian, who is on loan from Flamengo to Leeds United, took a light foul on the foot and took acting to a whole new level. The midfielder who has been compared to Kaka proceeded to act like he was receiving electroshock therapy before he flailed himself from the ground into the air like a dolphin to really, really let the referee know he was fouled.

What A Hit Son! The Best Soccer Commentaries Of All Time.

Martin Tyler, Gary Neville, Ian Darke, Andy Gray, Jon Champion, Ray Hudson. Those are just a few of the world's great soccer commentators. Sure, all of these names belong to English personalities, but there are talented commentators all around the world able to capture - and often enhance - great moments with their words. When tensions are running high and we’re on the edge of our seats, these men act as our tour guides through the ups and downs of a football match.

Epic Goalie Pass Results In A Goal In 5 Seconds

The Manuel Neuers and Thibaut Courtoises of the world would be impressed by this goalie assist that hails from the Persian League. Nat Tehran and Tractor Sazi faced off in a match which saw goalkeeper Alireza Beiranvand launched a pass from his own 18 yard line to 20 yards past the halfway line. 

The throw itself is worthy of a mention despite what happened after it, but forward Gholamreza Rezaei went on to beat two defenders and, on his first touch, blasted a 30-yard shot past the goalkeeper. 

It took 5 seconds in all for Nat Tehran to score the goal. 

Who Is A Faster Juggler? Messi Or Neymar?

Watching Neymar and Lionel Messi play keepy-uppy is equivalent to watching an NBA lay up line. Juggling is as easy as riding a bike for them. But, which of these superstars is faster? 

At an Audi event, the two Barcelona stars were each given a ball and had 60 seconds to touch the ball as many times as they could to recharge it with energy. And, as a result, we now know once and for all who the faster juggler is between Messi and Neymar: