South America

Neymar Is Going To Unleash His Music Upon Us Because It’s Time

Remember when Daft Punk released their magnum opus Random Access Memories in 2013, heralded with a genius marketing campaign combining new school strategy and old school nostalgia? By slowly teasing the album’s release, the electronic masters created a buzz that engulfed social media. 

It has been three years since those seminal moments in the music industry, but we appear to be on the verge of another musical zeitgeist. The sound of 2016 is going to be provided by none other than Neymar, his aptly titled #Neymusico already causing a Twitterstorm.

Don’t Worry, Neymar Will Do It

For the first time in about ten years, it must finally be relaxing to be a fan of the Brazilian national team. At the 2005 Confederations Cup, Brazil merrily captured the title with a squad containing the assurances of Kaka, Ronaldinho, Lucio and the phenomenal talents of Adriano and Robinho. That was the end of the fun.

Venezuela Keeper Saves Penalties From Carlos Bacca And James Rodriguez In The Same Game

Venezuelan goalkeeper Dani Hernandez stopped two penalties against Colombian stars Carlos Bacca and James Rodriguez in less than 15 minutes in a World Cup qualifier Thursday. Colombia beat Venezuela 2-0 in Barranquilla.

Hernandez, who plays for Tenerife in the Spanish second division, is the first goalkeeper to stop two penalties in a World Cup qualifier in CONMEBOL history, according to @OptaJavier.

Lionel Messi Returns For Argentina, Scores Winning Goal In 1-0 Victory Over Uruguay

It just had to be, didn’t it? Lionel Messi announced his return to the Argentina fold by scoring the game-winning goal for La Albiceleste against Uruguay, catapulting his country to the top of the CONMEBOL World Cup qualifying table in the process.

While Messi’s international retirement resulted in him missing zero action for Argentina, it was still an emotional return for the Barcelona man at the Estadio Malvinas Argentinas in Mendoza, Argentina.

Your Guide To The Uruguayan Primera Division

Sunday, the Uruguayan Primera Division finally started play. The league is currently changing the Uruguayan football season from the European format to a calendar year format.

After 11 seasons in the European format, in 2017 the league will be play from January to December.

The change has had several delays, first because cameras and increased security measures at stadiums were required, and then by storms that occurred Saturday, August 27.

The Uruguayan Primera Division will end on December 4. The 16 teams will play a round robin, totaling 15 games.

Diego Maradona Stopped By Argentina's Border Police For "Holding A Fake Passport"

Diego Maradona is revered in Argentina, except, apparently, by the border police.

The 55-year-old football legend was reportedly detained by border police at an airport while traveling to Dubai from Buenos Aires. The police supposedly accused Maradona of having a false or stolen passport.

Maradona responded as would be expected, by throwing out conspiracy theories.

“I won’t let anyone control my life,” he told Diario Popular.

Bolivia Name 93-Man Squad For World Cup Qualifiers. Seriously.

With Bolivia sitting ninth in the 10-team South American World Cup qualifying table, and having lost all three of their Copa America Centenario matches, newly appointed manager Angel Guillermo Hoyos is determined to get the most out of La Verde by going back to square one — the square where he determines who in Bolivia actually plays soccer.

Brazil Beats Germany In Penalties For Olympic Gold

Remember that time Germany beat Brazil 7-1 in the World Cup semifinals? Yeah, that's history now. Weverton came up with a save in penalties and Neymar scored his penalty (in addition to a monster free-kick earlier in the game) and Brazil became Olympic champions.

We're not sure if anyone out there knew this, but Neymar is really good.

Gracious In Defeat, Marta Is Everything Hope Solo Is Not

Brazil absolutely dominated Sweden during their Olympic semi-final match on Tuesday. The final statistics show that Brazil had 67% of possession and nine shots on goal compared to Sweden’s two. However, Sweden rode their luck to a second consecutive penalty shootout victory following their similar upset of the USWNT.

Neymar And Brazil Advance To Gold Medal Match After Obliterating Honduras 6-0

Brazil have found their best form at the 2016 Summer Olympics men’s football tournament at just the right time. Building off their 4-0 hammering of Denmark and 2-0 quarterfinal victory over Colombia, they’ve put in their most impressive performance yet in a 6-0 drubbing of Honduras.

They now await the winner of the Nigeria vs. Germany match in the other semifinal in Sao Paulo later today.

Brazil couldn’t have asked for a better start in front of 70,000 supporters at the world famous Maracana Stadium in Rio de Janeiro.