South America

Bolivia’s Pablo Escobar Nets A Screamer Off The Most Underrated Ass-ist Ever

Bolivia got off to an absolute flyer against Ecuador on Tuesday in La Paz. This shouldn’t surprise anyone as Bolivia’s home gournd, Estadio Hernando Siles at an altitude of 11,932 feet above sea level, is almost a literal deathtrap for CONMEBOL opposition.

La Verde took a fourth minute lead through Pablo Escobar, the 38-year-old attacking midfielder just thrashing a shot from almost 25 yards out. The shot was sensational, flying into the top corner. However, Rodrigo Ramallo also deserves credit for applying the assist from his a**. 

Argentina’s Struggles Confirm Lionel Messi’s Status As La Albiceleste’s Greatest Ever

Argentina’s 1-0 defeat at home to Paraguay on Tuesday was a massively damning result for La Albiceleste. Most evidently, it left Argentina in fifth place in the CONMEBOL World Cup qualifying table, one point out of the automatic qualification places. While there’s still time to move up the table, there’s also the worrying reality that both Paraguay and Chile are immediately behind them in the table, ready to knock them out of the 2018 World Cup entirely.

Brazil's New Mascot Is Both Hilarious And Terrifying

Meet the Canarinho.

No, you don't want to meet him, but meet him. 

The name Canarinho (little canary) has been synonymous with Brazil's National Team since 1984, when their yellow kits were adopted. To honor that nickname (Why, we ask, of all Brazil's nicknames, would you choose to honor that one?), Brazil have up and got themselves a new mascot that looks like something teenagers would catapult at buildings on their cellphones.

Colombia vs. Uruguay Was A Good Old-Fashioned Mudder And We Could Not Be Happier

We love a good mudder.

Colombia and Uruguay drew 2-2 Tuesday in what could only be called a mudder, a World Cup qualifier played in a driving rainstorm in which no player's jersey emerged clean. It was glorious.

Watch these highlights and then meet us on the other side. We're going to talk about mudders some more.

James Rodriguez Is Getting Death Threats After Injury Prevents Him From Playing In WCQs

James Rodriguez has been the subject of death threats on Twitter as revealed by his mother. The Colombian international received a photo of a box filled with ammunition and a gun while a couple of other weapons are also visible in frame. 

“Do you want to see how James would look dead?” said the message from the anonymous user. “I’m coming to your house now, say goodbye to all your loves ones.”

Argentina's Struggles Have A Clear Solution In Mauro Icardi

After three consecutive major final losses, Argentina decided to rebuild their squad. Edgardo Bauza became their third coach in just over two years, and everybody is hoping for a fresh start after their heart breaking loss to Chile in the Copa America Centenario.

In With The Ultras: Gabriel Uchida's Journey Through The Underworld Of Football In Brazil

“The relation between what we see and what we know is never settled. Each evening we see the sun set. We know that the earth is turning away from it. Yet the knowledge, the explanation, never quite fits the sight.” 

― John Berger, Ways of Seeing

For Brazilian photojournalist Gabriel Uchida, football has always been in the blood. It's been ever-present throughout his life; the fixed ground upon which he stands while his profession and search for greater understanding drives him across the planet.

Neymar Left Bloodied After Taking Bolivia To The Cleaners One Too Many Times

Neymar’s match against Bolivia contained parts of the good, the bad and the ugly. The good was a goal and two assists which helped the Selecao to a 5—0 rout of Bolivia in Natal, Brazil. 

The bad was a 36th-minute yellow card that means he’s suspended for Brazil’s October 11th qualifier away to Venezuela. However, given that Venezuela currently dwell at the bottom of the CONMEBOL WCQ table with two points from nine matches, Neymar’s absence shouldn’t be a factor.

Enner Valencia Evades Police Capture While Being Carted Off Injured

CONMEBOL World Cup qualifying grew in legend with another improbable incident during Thursday’s match between Ecuador and Chile.

With Ecuador holding a 3-0 advantage over Chile at the Estadio Olimpico Atahualpa in Quito, Ecuardorian international Enner Valencia, who plays his club football for Everton in the Premier League, allegedly faked an injury to evade police capture in the 82nd minute.

Ronaldinho Will Play A Friendly With A Third-Tier Mexican Club

Ronaldinho is coming back, at least for one more game. The Brazilian attacking midfielder hasn't retired fro soccer yet, and he says he wants to play one more year. He claims to have offers in MLS and China, but before he goes to either of those places 'Dinho is going to make an appearance for Mexican third-division club Cinco Estrellas in a friendly against Monterrey in December.

He announced his apearance in a video on the Cinco Estrellas facebook page.