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Mathieu Valbuena Is Not Dead

Surprise! He's alive. What a year it's been for Mathieu Valbuena. After battling injuries and scandals, he was left off the France squad due to injury, and, of course, fans theorized that he must be dead.

Almost immediately following his removal from the squad, images of a fake death certificate began circulating twitter, and fans began spreading the rumor that the French midfielder had passed away, forcing his club to address the rumor on Twitter:

Enjoy The Best Soccer Vines While You Still Have Time

In case you missed it, Twitter killed Vine on Friday. While we're all very sad, we're also laughing because we're using what's left of Vine's life to enjoy all our favorite Vines, many of which include soccer. With that in mind, we've decided to put together a list of our favorite soccer-related Vines, in hopes that y'all enjoy them as much as we do.

The Jose Mourinho-Miley Cyrus Mash-Up

Disneyland Makes Trip To See Lionel Messi

Walt Disney used his considerable imagination to dream up things like Mickey Mouse, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and Disney World, but he could never have conceived a little magician using sorcery to control objects and unleash all manner of hell on an unsuspecting public. Oh, right — that’s in Fantasia.

Anyway, he could’ve never told the story of an undersized scruff who went to extreme lengths to prove himself while remaining brave and unselfish in the face of never ending obstacles. Dammit, that’s Pinocchio, isn’t it?

Patrice Evra's Instagram Game Is On Point

There was a time during Patrice Evra’s heyday at Manchester United when he was considered the best left back in the word. At 35-years-old, the Frenchman is no longer undroppable — he’s only made two appearances for Juventus this season — but he has managed to lay claim to a new title: soccer’s best Instagrammer. 

Evra’s profile isn’t even six months old yet, but it already has a cool one million followers. 

The USWNT Play Like Girls, And That's Exactly Why They Should Get Paid The Same

“Stop playing like a girl.”

Five words that can quickly bring down someone’s motivation and self-esteem. Over the years, this stereotype has been used as an insult for both boys and girls. It’s a simple way of telling someone they aren’t good enough. Over time, women have done their best to break this harmful stereotypes. Luckily, there are a growing number of celebrities and role models speaking out for gender equality today. 

Lionel Messi Reads Tweets About Himself And It’s Adorable

Lionel Messi and his Barcelona teammates, including Gerard Pique and Ivan Rakitic, took a moment to read tweets about themselves in an ad campaign for the new 2017 Audi Q2. Fortunately for the Barca players, this was nothing like Jimmy Kimmel’s “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” segment.

The players read tweets containing strange tags that ultimately praised them as footballers and individuals. The highlight of the two-minute video is watching Messi awkwardly praise himself.

Matchday Chef Fired For Food Poisoning Plot

A matchday chef for Bristol Rovers vs. Gillingham this weekend learned the hard way that you should watch what you post on Facebook.

The chef, an admitted Bristol City fan, posted this gem (apparently deleted) on Facebook:

At work.. think am going to poison the whole lot of rovers fan today.. can’t be bothered to cook everything is going to be undercooked today.. how many people going to have the shits … Best news is am in the away end.. so no looking a inbreed (redacted) here the view I got for the next 7 hours…