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Zlatan Says He Will Come back Stronger From His Knee Injury

Zlatan is injured. We didn't know Zlatan could get injured. We thought he was impervious to harm. We thought he was immortal. We were wrong. Zlatan is injured.

Zlatan is injured so badly it's feared his career could be over. One person, at least, doesn't think Zlatan is anywhere near the finish line. That person is Zlatan.

Cristiano Ronaldo Would Like To Sell You A Canadian Tuxedo

Cristiano Ronaldo is always hawking something. My favorite is the blanket, but you could talk me into the undies. Actually, those WERE my favorites until today, when the Cristiano Ronaldo Canadian tuxedo arrived.

For those of you who are not very cultured, a Canadian tuxedo is a suit of clothing made of all denim. Like this:

Sergio Ramos Claps Back After Gerard Pique Flames Real Madrid

The war of words between Gerard Pique and Real Madrid reached ESPN FC comment section levels of villainy with Sergio Ramos taking the time to respond to Pique’s latest trolling effort.

Pique has previously insinuated that Real always get an easy draw in the Champions League, that Real’s expulsion from the Copa del Rey last season was hilarious and that Alvaro Arbeloa is a cone — this is pretty much a regular thing from him. 

Bill Walton Likes Soccer And You Should Too

Bill Walton is a treasure. The NBA legend and current college basketball broadcaster is one of the most fun people in all of sports.

Now, Bill Walton is all in on soccer, and you should be too. 

Walton's quote on a Soccer City SD Facebook post:

What Is Going On In This Picture Cristiano Ronaldo Tweeted?

Cristiano Ronaldo has broken reality. Frankly we're surprised it took him this long. He has a history of sending out tweets of himself brooding in various odd places/positions while showing his muscles, but the man has outdone himself.

14 Reasons You Should Be Dating A Girl Who Plays Soccer

Are you sick of sitting at home by yourself? Are you tired of watching the weekend soccer games alone on the couch? It’s time to stop being lazy and start being proactive. Find someone who will keep you company and support your sports addiction and what better than an athlete herself?!

Bastian Schweinsteiger Is In Limbo

Bastian Schweinsteiger is in soccer limbo. He's caught in-between Manchester United, who do not want him, and the Chicago Fire, who want him but cannot have him until his visa clears.

So Schweinsteiger is left to his own devices, which have brought him to Mallorca to train until he's legally allowed to enter the United States.

Cristiano Ronaldo Would Like To Sell You Some Undies

Cristiano Ronaldo is more than just a footballer. Cristiano Ronaldo is a #brand.

Like all good #brands, Cristiano Ronaldo has a wide range of things you can pay money for. Shoes, for example. And blankets.

Oh, and undies.

Zlatan Met The Former King Of Spain

Zlatan Ibrahimovic is mostlyknown for two things: thinking very highly of himself, and doing things on a soccer field that cause other people to think very highly of him.

The first trait was on display when Zlatan met Juan Carlos I, the 79-year-old former King of Spain.

Dirk Kuyt's 5-Year-Old Son Will Destroy You

Dirk Kuyt's five-year-old son is about as good as you would expect the progeny of a very good attacker formerly of Liverpool and the Dutch National Team to be.

Which is to say Dirk Kuyt's kid is very good.