Skills

If You Want To Make Varsity This Year, Spend All Of Tryouts Trying To Pull This Off

First things first, I’m not 100 percent certain we’ve agreed on a term for this particular skill. Is it a piece of back heel control? A rabona touch? An inverse rabona? A Nasty Neymar? From henceforth, it should be known as the Ballad of Ahmadzadeh Farshad. 

Can A Cruz Azul Estadio Azteca Homecoming End 22-Year Curse?

Can a Cruz Azul Estadio Azteca homecoming end the infamous 22-year curse known as Maldición Celeste?

Cruz Azul is one of the most popular and most successful teams in Mexico.

A Glorious Past At Estadio Azteca

Much of their greatness comes from the 1980s, when the team became an absolute winning machine in Mexican football.

Alberto Moreno Pulls Off A Poetic Double Nutmeg Like A Young Rimbaud

After playing 56 games last season, Liverpool FC basically said to hell with it and just kept playing. The Reds began their 2018-19 fixture list back on July 7 as part of a nine-game preseason tour that includes a trip to Ireland and the United States. This is how Jurgen Klopp ensures that the gegenpressing is still pressing come the 90th minute of matches in May.   

Will Croatia Star Luka Modric Go To Jail After The World Cup?

A Luka Modric trial is perhaps not the first thing that comes to your mind when thinking about the Real Madrid and Croatia star.

Croatia will face France in the World Cup final this Sunday. However, it is not only France that worries captain Luka Modric at the moment.

Modric has led his team to an historic achievement, managing to qualify for its first-ever World Cup final.

Why Harry Kane’s New Tottenham Deal Doesn’t Mean He’s Staying Put In London

For Tottenham fans, Friday’s news must have come as a relief. Their savior Harry Kane, who scored more goals in 2017 than anyone else in Europe, signed a six-year contract with Spurs. But the new Harry Kane deal might not keep the England striker in North London for long if you consider Tottenham’s last megastar.

Tottenham is in a unique position in English football. The club doesn’t have the resources of a Chelsea, Manchester United or Manchester City, and yet the team has finished in the top three for three years running.

Jessica Silva Is The Scariest Player In The Dang Universe

If you ever find yourself, as a defender, in a situation in which Jessica Silva has the ball somewhere in the vicinity of the corner flag and you are standing between her and the goal, just give up. Accept that she is going to humiliate you and get on with your life. Move into a cabin in the woods and meditate. Live off the land. Develop a hobby like woodworking. No one can nutmeg you when you're woodworking.

Silva, though, will nutmeg you. She will nutmeg you to death. Here is proof, via Portugal's 2019 World Cup qualifier against Belgium:

Invasion Of The Killer Nutmegs

Nutmegs are among the most brutal ways for a footballer to humiliate an opponent. Something about the act of a football going in between a footballer's legs and geting collected on the other side can leave one drained of one's will to live. The following videos are of nutmegs so ruthless we highly doubt any of the players on the receiving end have ever been seen again.

This is like one of those Oscars "In Memoriam" montages but for footballers.

(Sad piano music plays)

The Most Casual Double Nutmeg Of All-Time Is The Calling Card Of A True Sociopath

Behold, the most nonchalant double nutmeg of all-time. Like a video game hero encountering the first two nameless henchmen on level one, our beloved mad lad wastes these two opponents before they fade off our screen entirely.

All that’s left is our gallant No. 9, who looks like he could either kill you with subtle skills (as below) or just “Gonzalo Higuain Truck You” into the afterlife. He’s built like the nameless beast of AMC’s The Terror. He’s the thing that eats on two legs and four. The thing made of muscles and spells.

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