Off the Pitch

Did Graham Zusi Steal A $25,000 Unicycle?

Tragedy struck earlier this week when everyone’s favorite basketball halftime entertainment — a unicycle-riding, plate-balancing, bowl-juggling acrobat who goes by Red Panda — lost her custom-built, 7-foot unicycle. Someone took the luggage containing the Red Panda unicycle at the San Francisco airport baggage claim. That someone looks like Graham Zusi.

David Beckham Is Finally Officially Bringing MLS Back To Miami

Major League Soccer is returning to Miami, the home of the league’s first expansion team and first contraction team. Nearly two decades after the Fusion folded, a celebrity infused group is making a Miami MLS team a reality, with David Beckham spearheading the project because nothing says Miami like a pale Englishman. 

Funko Making Pop! Figures Of All Your Favorite Premier League Stars And Gary Cahill

It’s about damn time. For years, Funko has released its Pop! figures for everything from super heroes to Muppets and everything in between, helping grown men cockblock themselves with silly figurines littering their shelves and counter spaces. But now, Funko has gone in a new direction, providing the perfect thing to help men get laid: football Funko Pop figures. 

Manchester City Is Making It Hard To Hate Them

Alabama won yet another stupid national championship in college football on Monday. Pretty much everyone outside of Alabama hates the Crimson Tide. It’s a common narrative: Hate the team that always wins — be it the New England Patriots, the New York Yankees or Barcelona/Real Madrid.

Twitter Helps USMNT Defender Eric Lichaj Get A Dog — And It Has The Perfect Name

American-born defender Eric Lichaj had a deal with his wife: Score a hat trick and she will finally let him get a dog. The Nottingham Forest defender came oh so close to scoring a hat trick against Arsenal during the FA Cup on Sunday. After Lichaj asked Twitter to bombard his wife with dog memes, she caved. Eric Lichaj finally has a dog. 

Of Course Lukas Podolski Opened A Doner Kebab Shop

Lukas Podolski, a World Cup winner with Germany and a former striker for Arsenal and Bayern Munich, has always been a fan favorite, wherever he goes. The man with a hammer for a left leg is finishing out his career in Japan with Vissel Kobe right now, but while back in Cologne rehabbing an injury he opened up a doner kebab shop over the weekend to plenty of fanfare. 

Goalie Earns Year’s Supply Of Pizza For Shutting Out Leicester City

Everyone plays football for different reasons. For some it’s the love of the game, others for money or fame and still more do it to impress the opposite sex. But winning free pizza for playing football is a prize everyone can appreciate. That’s exactly what goalkeeper Chris Neal won by helping Fleetwood Town shut out Leciester City in the third round of the FA Cup on Saturday at Highbury Stadium. 

6 Ways To Be A Better Soccer Fan In 2018

It’s the time of year when people decide to make personal promises to be better in the coming 12 months, because nothing says motivation like waiting until the end of one year to do better. But if you really want to make a difference in 2018, instead of resolving to spend more time in the gym or less money on Starbucks, might we suggest these new years resolutions to be a better soccer fan in 2018.

Introspection is not easy, so we did the heavy lifting to give you these six resolutions perfect for any soccer fan. 

Watch: USWNT Star Julie Ertz Plays Call Of Duty After Eating Breakfast For Dinner

U.S. Women’s National Team star Julie Ertz is one of the best players in the country, even if she wasn’t named to the CONCACAF XI on Tuesday. Her goal-scoring exploits from her defensive position are impressive, but her home life may be even more notable.