Italy

The Naples Trinity Combine To Sink Milan

In the opening episode of the newest, most extravagant HBO television series, The Young Pope, the decidedly Neapolitan Cardinal Angelo Voiello, anticipating his upcoming meeting with the Holy See, lays out on a desk his three smartphones. Each is emblazoned with a slightly different cover. The Naples Trinity, Voiello calls them: the attacking trident which set Serie A on fire. Marek Hamsik, Lorenzo Insigne and Gonzalo Higuain. 

Jeison Murrilo Wiggled With It And Hit A Bicycle Kick Straight From A Corner

Jeison Murillo scored a worldy for Inter Milan Tuesday as his side defeated Bologna in the Coppa Italia, 3-2, to advance to the quarterfinals. Jeison Murillo reminds me of Jason Derulo and then I hear that little toy flute loop from “Wiggle” in my head.

Do-do-do-do-do-dooooo

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle

Francesco Totti’s Professional Career Is Now Old Enough To Rent A Car

Francesco Totti appeared in his seven millionth Serie A match for AS Roma on Sunday, failing to add to his total of 1,306,478 goals for the club but appearing for a 25th successive calendar year — a streak that first began in 218 BC when Totti helped defend Rome from the invading Carthaginian army led by Hannibal.

Over the course of the streak, Totti has helped Rome gain dominance over the Western Mediterranean, assist Caesar in his conquest of Gaul, witness the collapse of the Western Roman Empire and win the 2008 Coppa Italia.

Fiorentina Expose The Weaknesses Of A Fragile Juventus

For anyone wondering, let’s get the essentials out of the way: Fiorentina versus Juventus is a big match. This is truer for one side than the other, however. Before Sunday’s game, Juventus defender Leonardo Bonucci told the press that while the fixture was the most important date in most Florentines’ football calendar, it was just another game for the reigning champions.

AC Milan vs. Torino Was Overshadowed By The Thing On Joe Hart's Head

The Coppa Italia round of 16 match between AC Milan and Torino was interesting but not overly so until early in the second half when Torino keeper Joe Hart got kicked in the face.

Here's the video:

The Next Great Italian Striker Is An Invaluable Transfer Commodity

Last week, social media erupted amid news that Premier League side Arsenal had attempted to spend a huge amount of money on Serie A’s latest striking sensation, Andrea Belotti. Figures in the tens of millions were bandied about, converted from euros to pounds and back again until it seemed as though Arsenal’s penny-pinching ways had prevented their transfer business yet again. 

Simone Zaza Is Waddling Out The Door At West Ham After Landing Two Shots On Target

It’s been a rough six months for Italian international Simone Zaza. His infamous penalty miss against Germany at Euro 2016, when he approached the ball like a duck at a discotech, has become a burden that he says he’ll carry forever. 

via GIPHY

All Eyes Are On Italy Following The Champions And Europa League Draws

There’s no escaping the fact that the draws for the Champions League and the Europa League are ridiculous. These hugely overdone gala affairs take three hours to achieve what could be done in ten minutes. The saving graces - scowling club directors, getting to see Clarence Seedorf again - are vastly overshadowed by the ludicrous complexity of everything and UEFA’s willingness to blow their own trumpet at every conceivable opportunity. The entire event is comical, but it doesn’t really matter.

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