Mario Balotelli Threatens To Pilot A Helicopter Over Nice If They Win Ligue 1

Mario Balotelli has threatened to do the unthinkable if his new team, Nice, win France's Ligue 1: fly a helicopter over the city.

Nice are first in the French league right now, due in part to Balotelli's return to goal-scoring form. Balotelli isn't just content with scoring goals and winning, though. He wants to plunge the world into chaos.

Here's the quote, from Mediaset (bolding ours):

Wayne Rooney Is Sorry For Being Reportedly Drunk At A Wedding

OK, so here's what happened: Wayne Rooney got a night off from England duty after the Three Lions beat Scotland, and he ended up at a wedding reception where he was photographed looking like a very drunk person and also he reportedly played the piano nonsensically.

He is sorry.

The Premier League’s Most Incredible Streak Is On The Line This Saturday

Dating back to December of 2004, it’s been a miserly stretch of 13 games for Arsene Wenger against his old nemesis, Jose Mourinho. It’s not just the inability to defeat the former Chelsea manager that must irk Wenger, but the style with which Mourinho has gone about stymying his Arsenal sides.

Is Gianluigi Buffon The Greatest Goalkeeper Of All Time?

With 167 caps, Gianluigi Buffon has matched Spain’s Iker Casillas as Europe’s most capped international player of all time. This marks a major milestone for the Italian legend, but it isn’t necessarily unexpected.

Buffon, affectionately nicknamed Gigi, began his professional career with Parma in 1995 at the tender age of 17 and almost immediately became a household name. He was called up to the national team in 1997 and went to his first of many World Cups just a year later, in 1998 at the age of 20. 

England vs. Spain Descends Into A Series Of Mannequin Challenges

With England and Spain both enjoying comfortable starts to their World Cup qualifying campaigns (England sit atop Group F, Spain Group G), the two nations played out a meaningless, feel good friendly at Wembley Stadium on Tuesday. The real battle was played without the football, as both teams submitted their entries to the mannequin challenge.

Barcelona Sign Second-Largest Shirt Sponsorship Deal Ever

Barcelona have signed a new shirt sponsorship deal with Rakuten, an electronic commerce and Internet company based in Tokyo. The deal will pay Barca almost $60 million per year for four years, with the option of a one-year extension and even more money should certain bonus criteria be met.

Barcelona’s current deal with Qatar Airways, a partnership which began back in 2011, currently nets them around $35 million per year, but the Catalan side are now set to nearly double that yearly income with Rakuten as the primary sponsor.

Samir Nasri Says Pep Guardiola Banned Man City Players From Having Sex After Midnight

Apparently Pep Guardiola has forbidden his players from having sexy time after midnight, for fear that they won't get enough sleep.

This information comes from Samir Nasri, who spent a little time with Guardiola at Manchester City before being shipped off on loan to Sevilla.

This quote from Nasri, via the BBC, is beautiful:

Steven Gerrard Is Headed For A Reunion, But Where?

When we last checked in with Steven Gerrard, he was a mediocre-but-not-great MLS player, which is to say there was no way in hell the LA Galaxy were going to pay him gobs of money to stick around for another season. Whether the decision was mutual or on Stevie's side or the Galaxy's, Gerrard will be elsewhere after his contract ends in December.

Hoffenheim's 29-Year-Old Boss Is The Next Big Thing In Management

When Hoffenheim appointed a 28-year-old to lead their first team, even Hoffenheim fans thought they were crazy.

Born on July 23, 1987, Julian Nagelsmann became the youngest manager in the history of the Bundesliga when appointed in February. At the time, 1899 Hoffenheim was sitting in 17th place with just two wins, and it looked like relegation was imminent. Originally considered a publicity stunt, Nagelsmann has brought his team from the brink of relegation to third in the Bundesliga, and Hoffenheim are one of just three teams undefeated at this point in the season.

Will Mario Balotelli And Sebastian Giovinco Ever Get Back To The Italian National Team?

As international football heaves its bloated corpse over the horizon of our collective attentions, trying to find any kernel of interest becomes increasingly tough. Because of this, we have the British Isles wrestling with the political absurdity of trying to cram as many poppies as possible into one fixture, Lionel Messi hoping that colouring in his tattoos will help Argentina win in Brazil, someone called Radamel Falcao starting to scoring goals again and a certain section of North London declaring war on the sovereign state of Chile due to the possibility of one man’s muscle tear.