You can start imagining it now: It's Friday, July 8 — El Tráfico between LAFC and LA Galaxy at Banc of California Stadium is on. It's also the debut of the grandmaster of defense in MLS. There's 37-year-old Giorgio Chiellini now, sweltering in LAFC's black kit in the noonday Los Angeles heat, skull bleeding and bandaged after an early clash of heads with Chicharito.
"Porca Madonna!" he screams "Si è tuffato! Chi cazzo credi di essere?!"