Like Cassini, Arsene Wenger’s Time Is At An End

The long-serving NASA spacecraft Cassini-Huygens made its final probe of Saturn early Friday as it crashed into Saturn, burning up in the atmosphere to disintegrate every shred of evidence a human-made object ever orbited the most fascinating planet in our solar system (Earth aside) and protect possible life on the planet’s moons from being contaminated by humans. 

Wenger Watch Europa League Special: Slightly Less Panicking For Now

The Wenger Watch took the weekend off because we care deeply about work-life balance, but we're back to chart Arsene Wenger's career prospects as he and Arsenal venture into the Europa League group stage.

After much deliberation we have decided to put the Wenger-O-Meter in the MIDDLE. We are AMBIVALENT at this time. It could go EITHER WAY.

Fantasy Premier League Tips Week 5

Premier League Fantasy gamers, hopefully your squad did better this past weekend than Edersons face. Here are the 3 transfers you need to make this week.

Alvaro Morata:

It looks like the Spaniard has found his groove with the Blues. He’s scored in two straight games, and there’s not a better team to extended that streak against than Arsenal, as the London derby comes to Stamford Bridge.

Jermaine Defoe: 

Here’s What 20,000 Rabid Away Supporters In Your City Looks Like

FC Cologne hasn’t won the Bundesliga since 1978. They are currently ranked 122nd in the UEFA club rankings, and they’re the mighty Arsenal’s opponent in the Europa League tonight, something Gooner supporters have been mocked endlessly about by people who started supporting Manchester City or Chelsea in 2010.

Alexis Sanchez Is Fat And Tens Of Thousands Want Him To Split Up With His Girlfriend

Alexis Sanchez is fat and content because he’s got a hot new GF and that’s why Arsenal and Chile can’t win. At least, that’s what tens of thousands of fans are saying ahead of a planned march in Santiago to break up Alexis and his girlfriend Mayte Rodriguez. 

Fantasy Premier League Tips Week 4

Hola Amigos from far and wide. The International break is over! And best of all the transfer window is closed! Coutinho is still a red. Alexis is still a gunner, and Arsenal fans are still probably pissed they didn’t land Thomas Lemar. Speaking of Arsenal fans – let’s roll into our three players you need to transfer for this week!

#1. Alexandre Lacazette:

Barcelona Has A Terrible August. Arsenal Says, "Hold My Beer."

August was not a kind month to two of the world’s biggest clubs, Barcelona and Arsenal. There were shock departures, shock non-departures, cringe-worthy losses and unimpressive victories. 

Barcelona and Arsenal went their separate ways after the 2005 Champions League final: Barcelona won and has been winning ever since, while Arsenal hasn’t sniffed a league title (let alone a Champions League semifinal) since. But the clubs are still two of the richest, most popular teams, each ranking in the top six in attendance for European clubs. 

Wenger Watch Transfer Deadline Special: At Least Alexis Sanchez Is Still On The Team

Welcome to a Wenger Watch transfer deadline special, where we will come to a conclusion on Wenger IN vs. Wenger OUT based on the deadline day happenings at Arsenal. 

The deadline day happenings at Arsenal were pretty underwhelming really. Manchester CIty is all mad because they don't have Alexis Sanchez, Arsenal have Alexis Sanchez but not Thomas Lemar or Alex-Oxlade Chamberlain, who has inadvertantly become the new Banter King of Merseyside.