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WWC Preview 2015: Germany Is The Juggernaut We Fear

If you were hoping that Germany’s women would be a far cry from its World Cup winning men, you should stop reading right now. Germany are good. Really, really good. This-makes-you-understand-why-Germans-are-associated-with-perfection good. 11-0, 6-2, and 7-1 wins are normal for them. They once went through an entire round of European qualifying with an average of 4 goals per game. They have won 8 of the 11 European Championships ever to be held, including the past 6 in a row. They own back-to-back World Cups from 2003 and 2007, during the second of which they conceded a grand total of zero goals throughout the tournament. When they lost to Japan in the quarterfinals of the 2011 World Cup, it might as well have been a disruption of the natural order of things tantamount to thunder not following lightening. Germany wins, they have always won, and they are the favorites to win in 2015. 

After a 4-2 loss to Sweden to start off their 2015 fixtures list, Germany has won 4 straight, including a revenge win against Sweden, two victories against Brazil, and a win over China. In short, Germany has done just about all it could possibly do to make its place at the top of the FIFA World Rankings unarguable. They are riding into Canada 2015 in some of the best form possible. 

Their roster includes the reigning FIFA World Player of the Year, goal keeper, and team captain Nadine Angerer, who is, needless to say, and absolute rock at the back. Four of its forwards — Alexandra Popp, Celia Sasic, Anja Mittag, and Melanie Behringer — are all 20+ goal scorers for their club, with Popp and Sasic averaging over a goal every two games for their country, a ridiculous rate at the international level, regardless of what’s in your pants. This goal scoring prowess has manifested itself in midfield as well, with Simone Laudehr (23 in 87) and Dzsenifer Marozsan (23 in 47!!!) scoring so often that they might be moved to striker if they’re not careful. 

Leading this formidable fusion of feminine footballing fury is the fantastic Silvia Neid, who has been the team’s head coach since 2005, meaning that she has only won a World Cup, two European Championships, and two FIFA World Coach of the Year Women Football awards. Which when you think about it is hardly impressive considering her 74% winning, not unbeaten, but winning percentage and +353 goal differential in 143 games. 

Cut to the rest of the soccer world.

I wish I could tell you that all of this is exaggeration, that no one should really fear the Germans at all, but I can’t. As good as the USWNT is, as good as Sweden, France, and Japan are Germany is just as good in every possible way. 

And they even put 5 of their players on the cover of Playboy in 2011. On the cover of Playboy! IT DOESN’T GET ANY MORE ALPHA THAN THAT!

Sorry for losing focus there. That was 2011, this is Canada 2015, and this Summer you can book a German spot in the semifinals barring a “thunderless lightning” level upset. 

The football that Germany will use to get there is exactly the kind of football we have come to expect from Deutschland: crisp passing, utilitarian attacks, and clinical finishing. They play the easy pass when they should, and finish as if the intense focus of their build-up demands it. 

Undoubtedly playing a large part in that build up will be Dzsenifer Marozsan, one of the best young players in the world. It is with her — of the 23 in 47 international scoring rate from midfield — with which the future of German football resides. I could riddle you with superlatives describing her game but I won’t. Watch this video and see the masterful talent that is about to hit Canada in two months. 

Her up-and-coming talent will be surrounded by established players, and guided in the right direction by a seasoned winner in Neid.

With apologies to our national allegiances, Germany is the favorite to win the World Cup this Summer. That’s not to say that everyone else has no chance. They will just need to put in a perfect performance to do it, and it seems that the Germans already have a monopoly on perfection.

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