Sky Sports News have gone balls-out this morning with the audacious claim that Manchester United are exploring the possibility of a swap deal with Real Madrid that would see Gareth Bale move to Old Trafford this summer with Angel di Maria heading back to the Santiago Bernabau.
We know what you're thinking: show us the quotes! Bring us pictures of Bale house-hunting in Cheshire or di Maria having an all-out row with Louis van Gaal! Tell us about the delegation of Old Trafford suits spotted flying out of Manchester bound for Madrid!
Um, well, we can't. Or rather Sky Sports News can't. What they have instead are the musings of their La Liga expert Terry Gibson, who says: "It depends on the price, and depends if there’s any other business that Manchester United want to do with Real Madrid or vice verca."
Hmm, okay Terry. What else? "Would the two clubs come together in terms of transfer dealings? I’d be very surprised if Di Maria went back to Real Madrid."
While you can certainly muster together a rationale for both men wanting to move in opposite directions - di Maria is struggling to find his feet in the Premier League, while Gareth Bale perpetually has his car smashed in by Madridistas - Sky Sports News have forgotten the First Golden Rule of Transfer News: SWAP DEALS NEVER HAPPEN.
In other transfer news, it looks set to be a busy summer at Eastlands, with Manchester City apparently set to sell half their current squad in order to fund moves for Paul Pogba, Raheem Sterling, Ross Barkley and a host of other players in the transfer window.
Elsewhere, Arsenal believe they've finally sealed the signing of 16-year-old Argentine Maxi Romero for $7 million, after issues with his ownership rights were resolved. He looks quite good.