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Tottenham Are Dumped From The UCL In The Most Spursy Way Imaginable

For all of Tottenham’s sustained excellence throughout the 2015-16 Premier League season, they’ve now got absolutely nothing to show for it. Arsenal infamously pipped Spurs to the runner-up position on the final day of the season, launching an improbable St. Totteringham’s Day, and they’ve now thrown away their reward for finishing third by being eliminated in the Champions League group stage.

Drawn with Monaco, Bayer Leverkusen and CSKA Moscow, many Spurs supporters had their sights set on the group’s top spot. However, Tottenham looked uncomfortable in the temporary confines of Wembley Stadium for their home matches, and they still haven’t managed to score more than a single goal in a game.

Their final group match against CSKA Moscow will now serve as a Europa League playoff — it’ll likely play out much like the South Park baseball episode, with both teams desperately attempting to lose.

But Tuesday’s defeat to Monaco shows exactly why the term ‘Spursy’ has been added to the 2016 OED. Their failure to live up to expectations reached unprecedented heights following Harry Kane’s 52nd minute equalizer from the spot. Given a lifeline, Spurs contrived to throw it all away only 16 seconds later.

Following the restart, Danny Rose found himself inexplicably pulled towards the center, allowing acres of space behind him. The resulting cross eventually fell to Thomas Lemar, who dispatched his effort and condemned Spurs to an early exit.  

For Spurs, the only bright note was the performance of world-class goalkeeper Hugo Lloris. He kept the Tottenham dream alive with a series of great saves, none better than this effort: 

Spurs will now fully turn their attentions to the Premier League, where they’re currently in fifth. They travel away to play table-topping Chelsea on Saturday.

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