There's not much we can write about the Gold Cup third-place match between the USA and Panama that's positive. The game itself was boring, and Panama took it so seriously they played kickball the day before instead of practicing.
The game ended 1-1 in regulation and 1-1 after extra time, sending a game nobody wanted to go to penalties to penalties. Panama won after Fabian Johnson missed and Michael Bradley and DaMarcus Beasley were denied.
And, mercifully, the game was over.
The USMNT's Gold Cup was a lot like this clip from the movie Sahara, starring Matthew McConaughey and Steve Zahn. The USMNT broke down but were bailed out by two people (Clint Dempsey and Michael Bradley) who, despite flying by the seats of their pants, rigged up a solution to the USMNT's problem. One person (John Broooks) ran around screaming and confused, and everything blew up in the end. Jurgen Klinsmann is the Admiral, by the way. Also this clip is infinitely more entertaining than anything that happened in the game.
Now, if you'll excuse us, we're going to go watch a game where the players actually try. An International Champions Cup match, perhaps.
Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus