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Manchester United Sucks

In May a BBC headline accidentally ran on live television that stated, “Manchester United are rubbish.” Three months later that headline couldn’t be any truer as Brentford demolished the Red Devils 4-0 Saturday at Gtech Community Stadium.

If the headline for this story seems unprofessional it’s still more professional than the performance from Erik ten Hag’s side. The first half was an example of what a game would look like for a team if everything that could go wrong happened.

Plenty of credit needs to be given to Brentford and manager Thomas Frank. The Bees capitalized on United mistakes, out muscled their opponent at every turn and limited clean looks at goal.

It’s hard to say who should have the finger pointed at them for United’s shambolic performance. Sky Sports’ Gary Neville was extremely critical of ten Hag’s starting XI.

“Ten Hag has picked the smallest team he could hoping they would out play Brentford. You have to deal with the physical side of the Premier League. It's like a men's team against Under 9s,” Neville said.

For the first two goals the finger can be pointed at goalkeeper David de Gea. There’s really no way to explain these two blunders from the Spaniard. My only hypothesis is that he and some goalkeeper on a high school C-team had their bodies swapped “Freaky Friday” style.

Josh Dasilva was gifted the first goal in the 10th minute and eight minutes later Mathias Jensen doubled the lead.

That goal kick routine in the 18th minute looks like something straight out of a recreational youth soccer game. What on Earth was de Gea thinking?

By far one of the best parts of the game was the Cristiano Ronaldo cam. CR7 tried his best to find a transfer away from Manchester United this summer but couldn’t find a way out. Ronaldo started on Saturday and looked baffled every time Brentford scored.

Ben Mee headed in the third goal on a corner kick in the 30th minute. After Brentford scored the third goal it felt like the Bees were going to score seven in the game.

The fourth goal in the 35th minute was less a United mistake than it was a beautiful counterattack from Brentford. This goal was clinical.

At halftime the soccer world stared in disbelief at the 4-0 score line. Was this really happening?

NBC’s Robbie Earle described the Red Devils as a ‘traveling circus.’

The second half felt like a Brentford training drill at times. The Bees were looking for a fifth goal and came close at points but were in total control.

Manchester United’s players looked hollow, lifeless and hopeless. The Premier League is only halfway through matchday two, but as things stand Manchester United sits bottom of the league.

This is the seventh-straight away loss for the club in Premier League play. The last time that happened was 1936.

The biggest question I have is what is going to happen next week when Manchester United plays Liverpool? 

If you have a friend or family member that supports United, then be sure to check in on them around 3 p.m. ET on Monday, Aug. 22. They could use some extra love.

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