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Borussia Dortmund And Legia Warsaw Just Broke The Record For Most Goals In A UCL Game

Borussia Dortmund beat Legia Warsaw 8-4. They combined for 12 goals, more than the number of players each team is allowed to have on the field and the same number as the number of months in a year.

In the Champions League.

Some people will see numbers like these and think it proves that the Champions League format needs to be changed, or that it isn't the highest level of competition in the world. We disagree. We are here for any soccer competition in which 12 goals get scored. We think more games should involve 12 goals being scored. The hell with defense. Borussia Dortmund and Legia Warsaw are officially our two favorite teams.

At one point Borussia Dortmund only had one defender on the field who was actually a defender. This is the kind of strategic innovation we are looking for.

Here's the order, in case you were wondering:

Aleksandar Prijovic (Legia Warsaw) 10'

Shinji Kagawa (Borussia Dortmund) 17'

Shinji Kagawa (Borussia Dortmund) 18'  

Nuri Sahin (Borussia Dortmund) 20'  

Aleksandar Prijovic (Legia Warsaw) 24'

Ousmane Dembélé  (Borussia Dortmund) 29'

Marco Reus (Borussia Dortmund) 32'

Marco Reus (Borussia Dortmund) 52'

Michal Kucharczyk (Legia Warsaw) 57' 

Felix Passlack (Borussia Dortmund) 81'

Nemanja Nikolic (Legia Warsaw) 83'

Marco Reus (Borussia Dortmund) 90'+2'

This is the real goal report/order/whatever. It is real and good and cool and beautiful. The whole game was beautiful. It was a blowout in which the losing team scored four goals, more than any UCL team Tuesday besides, obviously, the team that beat them.

In fact, Legia Warsaw scored more goals than were scored in every other Champions League game except Juventus vs. Sevilla, which had the same amount.

You know how you give great matches nicknames, like "The Miracle of Istanbul" or "The Snow Classico"? We need to give this match a nickname, and we think we've got a good one. The Champions League group stage game between Borussia Dortmund and Legia Warsaw that was played on 11/22/2016 will now and forever be known as:

Squad Goals.

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