On Tuesday morning we finally got "here we go" confirmation of Erling Haaland spurning the wandering eyes of Liverpool, Barcelona and Real Madrid and electing to join Pep Guardiola's Manchester City with the Premier League side activating his $63 million release clause.
Haaland officially joins on July 1 on a five-year contract that pays him $462,000 per week ($24 million a year).
The 21-year-old Norwegian is viewed as the second coming of Paul Bunyan with his frightening combination of bigness, youthful vitality and... hold on a second folks. We have to interrupt this report because we have some breaking news out of France.
According to ESPN sources, 34-year-old Brazilian defender Marcelo was dropped from the Lyon first team "for repeatedly farting among his teammates in the dressing room and laughing in the presence of (sporting director) Juninho and (manager) Peter Bosz."
Marcelo was initially dropped by Lyon back in August following a 3-0 defeat to Angers. After the match, Lyon captain Léo Dubois was delivering a rallying speech when Marcelo was caught laughing.
The center back was sent to play with Lyon B in France's fourth tier before having his contract terminated at the end of January. ESPN says the "continuous farting and laughing" played the biggest role in his downfall after four and a half seasons with the club.
Marcelo then joined a Bordeaux side that was in 17th-place when he arrived on Jan. 28. They're now in 20th and facing almost certain relegation to Ligue 2. Has his untimely flatulence played a part? Has he been leaving some mean streaks and skids for the club's laundry assistant?
We'll wait for ESPN's sources in France to uncover more.
Never forget that on the day Haaland signed for Manchester City, the biggest news story was actually Marcelo constantly asking his teammates if someone had stepped on a duck.