Twitter loves large adult sons: big goofy dudes who run around and make a ruckus with startling athleticism. What does this have to do with soccer? Well, soccer is rapidly growing in the United States, but it would be growing even faster if it had a large adult son to piggyback on.
Tranmere Rovers center back Steve McNulty is the perfect candidate, and we wish he played in the USA. Twitter would love him. McNulty is sufficiently large enough to qualify for "large adult son" status and balletic enough that he can be considered a legitimate footballer (he played the full 90 against Liverpool Wednesday and did not embarrass himself). He also has gray hair, even though he is 33 years old.
Just a reminder that the likes of Wijnaldum, Firmino and Sturridge will be up against non-league legend Steve McNulty tonight! pic.twitter.com/PaSgL5vSN7— Footy Accumulators (@FootyAccums) July 12, 2017
Every other major American sport has large adult sons: rowdy baseball boys, big tall basketball boys, rambunctious football buddies, any hockey player taller than 6'1", etc. But not soccer. Soccer does not have a single large adult son.
Baseball is the best example of capitalizing on large adult sons to make your sport more popular. Just look how much more fun Kyle Schwarber made the World Series, and how much more fun Aaron Judge made the Home Run Derby.
MANAGER: kyle, you silly big boy. you ran too many bases and got out.
SCHWARBER: (bashfully) I'M SORRY COACH I JUST LOVE BASEBALLS SO MUCH— Ethan Booker (@Ethan_Booker) November 3, 2016
Aaron Judge, the belle of the ball, the biggest baseball boy of the party pic.twitter.com/UEOOy66oWG— Charlotte Wilder (@TheWilderThings) July 10, 2017
So, soccer fans, if you really want your sport to make it in America, find a way to get a big boisterous soccer lad into MLS. I recommend Steve McNulty.