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What If Bill Gates Had Bought Liverpool?

Last week it was revealed that, years ago, before the FSG era, billionaire computer person Bill Gates, the richest man in the world, was offered the chance to buy Liverpool. He never returned the phone call.

That left us wondering: what if he had, and then agreed to buy Liverpool, becoming the richest owner in any sport, with more money than even the richest Qatari sheikh?

Well, first, Liverpool would use technology better than any other team. One thing tech billionaires know how to do is use tech, and that means cyborg players. I'm not saying all the players would be cyborgs but Dejan Lovren would definitely be a cyborg.

Yes, the players are computers now is a stupid joke, but seriously a Lovren cyborg would be pretty darn cool. THE LOVRENATOR.

A few robotic joints would probably do Daniel Sturridge some good, really.


It would be really important to make sure not every player is turned into a cyborg, lest Liverpool jump-start the scenarion in this Nike commercial:

We were warned.

Computerization wouldn't just be limited to players: cyborg Jurgen Klopp (RoboKlopp) would have even more energy than regular Jurgen Klopp, based on how good batteries have gotten. Plus he would be able to shoot lasers out of his eyes. Maybe the Microsoft people wouldn't program RoboKlopp to be able to to that, but he would figure out a way to do it anyway.

Would Liverpool have won the league title by now? It's hard to say.

(still no)

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