The Seattle Reign and Western New York Flash were in need of a field this weekend, but what they got was a small patch of grass in the outfield of a minor league baseball stadium, resulting in one of the silliest-looking soccer games we have ever seen. In case you were wondering if the NWSL is a serious professional league, signs would point to "no" (We mean the league itself is not a serious professional league. The players themselves are all serious professional players who deserve better).
How did a screw up like this happen? This is how we imagine that conversation went:
Bureaucrat guy #1: The ladies need a field to play on and we're running out of options, what should we do?
Bureaucrat guy #2: What if we just put a tiny field in a minor league baseball stadium
Bureaucrat guy #1: But won't that make the field super-small and difficult to play on?
Bureaucrat guy #2: No it's fine because women are on average physically smaller than men so they don't need as big of a field to play on
Bureaucrat guy #1: Wait what
Bureaucrat guy #2: And they're physically weaker than men too so they can't kick the ball as far and therefore don't need as big of a field
Bureaucrat guy #1: I don't know if that's true
Bureaucrat guy #2: And their maternal instincts make them prefer small spaces to larger ones because it's cozier
Bureaucrat guy #1: OK that's definitely not true
Bureaucrat guy #2: And the confined space means it will be easier for them to discuss their feelings with each other, a thing women love
Bureaucrat guy #1: Good lord
Bureaucrat guy #2: And they'll be able to manage the children easier because the stands won't be as far away
Bureaucrat guy #1: (cleans out desk, leaves)
Bureaucrat guy #2: I take it by your silence that it's OK to move forward with this. (picks up phone, dials) We are a go with the tiny field
Sounds about right.
Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus