WTF

Police Called After Moscow Man Accuses Ghost Of Andrey Arshavin Of Stealing Money

For a couple years, Andrey Arshavin was one of the most exciting footballers in the world. Today, people are asking: Is Arshavin dead?

It’s true Arshavin dropped off the face of the British-centric soccer world when he left Arsenal to return to his native Russia in 2013. He only just retired in December 2018, after a few years with Zenit Saint Petersburg, Kuban Krasnodar and Kairat. That last club plays in the Kazakhstan Premier League, so you’d be excused for not knowing about it, but the Russian winger did score nine goals in 31 league appearances in 2018. 

Qatar Has Reached The AFC Asian Cup Final — But Not Without Controversy

The AFC Asian Cup final is set. Japan, the winningest team in the history of the competition, will take on Qatar, trying to prove it can actually play the sport before hosting the 2022 World Cup. But Qatar making it through the AFC Asian Cup Semifinals did not come without controversy.

Qatar reached the AFC Asian Cup semifinals by edging South Korea in the Maroons’ first big upset of the tournament, although you could argue Qatar beating Saudi Arabia was a pretty big upset too. 

Italian Coach Given 5-Month Ban For Haymaker Of A Headbutt

This is Giancarlo Favarin, manager of Serie C club Lucchese. You’re not going to see much of him anymore, because he’s been banned for five months for unloading his cranium straight into the face of an opposing team's assistant coach. During the 2-2 draw between his side and rival Alessandria, Favarin also instructed one of his players to break an opponent’s legs. That’s also a big no-no when it comes to touchline etiquette. 

Rather Than Play For Sky Blue, Two Top 10 NWSL Draft Picks Opt To Leave The Country

NWSL club Sky Blue FC has been down in the dumps recently due to poor working conditions for its professional athletes. It's so bad that newcomers that just achieved their lifelong dreams of playing professional soccer are refusing to sign with the team. Prior to being drafted, both draftees said they would not play for Sky Blue in hopes that manager Phil Murphy wouldn’t pick them.

Why Kaku’s Agent Invoked MLK And Hitler To Complain About Not Getting Free Coffee

Alejandro Sebastián Romero Gamarra, better known as Kaku (but not that Kaku), is a New York Red Bulls designated player. He arrived in the Big Apple from Huracán with much fanfare in February 2018, but didn’t quite live up to lofty expectations in his first season.

Now he wants a move to Club América. But the Red Bulls are going all Daniel Levy on the Liga MX side and Kaku’s agent, Gustavo Casasola, is not happy.

Barcelona’s Moussa Wagué Given Four-Match Ban After Hitting Fan For Alleged Racist Abuse

During Sunday’s Segunda División B match between the Barcelona B squad and SD Ejea, 20-year-old Barca right back Moussa Wagué was sent off for clashing with an Ejea supporter while attempting to take a throw-in. 

The match was played at the tight confines of Ejea’s 2,900-capacity Nuevo Estadio Municipal, and after Wagué went to collect the ball for a throw, a supporter tossed it away from him, resulting in the physical altercation.

Strasbourg Player’s Comments On Neymar Injury Worse Than Foul Itself

A lot of people don’t like Neymar. 

I get that — he went overboard with the theatrics at last summer’s World Cup.

But what Strasbourg's Anthony Gonçalves said after yet another Neymar injury crosses the line more than any Neymar dive. It’s dangerous territory, something that reflects a societal issue as well.

8 Yellows, 1 Red, 18 Starts: The Maddest Lad Of Them All 2018-19

It was around this time last year that we introduced Bruno Zuculini to you, our weary audience, as the maddest lad of them all. The Argentine spent the first half of the 2017-18 season at Hellas Verona, collecting three red cards and four yellows in just 15 starts. He was promptly sold to River Plate before he could build on his phenomenal record over the following months.

If Your Child Wants To Be Like Messi, Tell Them Kevin-Prince Boateng Works Too

Every child dreams of becoming the next Lionel Messi, and I don’t think that should be discouraged. However, it might not be a bad bit of parenting to tell your children that it’s OK to aim for the next Maxwell, Alexander Hleb, Aleix Vidal, Thomas Vermaelen, Paulinho or Kevin-Prince Boateng as well — that’s probably the surest way of representing the Blaugrana as a professional.

These are the somewhat old, somewhat weird transfer dealings of the five-time European champions, and in a strange way, they make perfect sense.

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