The story arcs that football provides us with are both fascinating and absurd. Who could’ve guessed that, come 2016, Brad Guzan would be doing battle with Victor Valdes to be named the starting goalkeeper for Middlesbrough?
Guzan, the 31-year-old Illinois native with 50 USA appearances to his name, is expected to join the newly promoted Premier League club on a free transfer following Aston Villa’s relegation.
Pro Evolution Soccer, Konami’s rival to the EA Sports FIFA franchise, will be celebrating its 16th edition this year, and PES 2017 looks set to give FIFA a run for its money.
After watching the official launch trailer, I can confirm that I close my eyes and see Andres Iniesta’s 3D photo scanned face. I’m equal parts impressed and horrified.
Liverpool spent the last few days training in Palo Alto, California, as part of their USA tour, and during that time Liverpool's training staff found time to take on that of Stanford University in a friendly.
What happened next will shock and outrage you.
Sigi Schmid is no longer the head coach of the Seattle Sounders after they "mutually" agreed to part ways.
OFFICIAL: #Sounders, Sigi Schmid mutually agree to part ways: https://t.co/Pj8RBLYUCm pic.twitter.com/5s40QG2NLt
— Seattle Sounders FC (@SoundersFC) July 26, 2016
The title of "World's Saltiest Soccer Team" 2016 has already been decided. There will be no more entries. The Tampa Bay Rowdies have won.
The Rowdies made a compilation video of times the referees have wronged them this season and it is seven minutes long. The video is titled "2016 Rowdies Officiating Deficiencies," which is just another way of saying "they're out to get us".
It took until the 88th minute for the Seattle Sounders to avoid turning in the undisputed worst offensive performance in MLS history. Until the 88th minute, the Sounders had not even taken a shot. No team has ever gone an entire MLS game without taking a shot.
Sporting, meanwhile, recorded more than one shot. They put three in the net before Seattle managed to even shoot.
The living legend that is Didier Drogba is approaching his 20th season of professional soccer, and he’s showing no signs of slowing down. The former Chelsea striker lifted the Montreal Impact into the MLS playoffs for the first time in their history last season, and he’s almost certain to have an even more influential campaign this time around following his resounding hat-trick against Philadelphia.
Comedian John Oliver, host of HBO's Last Week Tonight, is a huge Liverpool fan. He wants you to be one too. Oliver appeared in a video for LFC championing the Reds before their USA tour officially kicks off.
In his @LastWeekTonight style, @iamjohnoliver explains why you should watch #LFCtour!
A funny thing happened in Blaine, Minnesota on Wednesday night. In fact, it was hilarious. To get you in the mood for the hilarity, here’s a joke involving Minnesota United goalkeeper Sammy Ndjock, the man who provided the humor.
There’s a fire raging in an apartment building and Minnesota United goalkeeper Sammy Ndjock spots a lady trapped with her baby near the top floor. It’s a precarious situation, and the flames are slowly rising to her position.
“Here! Throw the baby down to me, I’ll catch it - I’m Minnesota’s No. 1 keeper! I’m a professional goalie!” yells Sammy.