Transfers

Tottenham’s $35 million signing of Lucas Moura from Paris Saint-Germain is a fantastic piece of business for both the London club and fans of the Premier League on the whole. For Tottenham, the club has some brilliant forward-thinking fullbacks, but no true quality wingers like Lucas. 

Hell, the transfer reveal video was already a smashing success for Spurs.

pic.twitter.com/2geSeK0U6b

The story of Bruno Zuculini’s young career is one of fire, fury and loan moves. A product of Buenos Aires club Racing, Zuculini made his first team debut with the club, one of the “big five” clubs of Argentine football, at the tender age of 16. After establishing himself as one of the Primera Division’s top talents, Manchester City signed him at the age of 21 for $3.2 million in 2014.

Like a super blue blood moon eclipse, everything lined up just perfectly for Arsenal at the end of the transfer window on Wednesday. The club signed Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, one of the most fearsome strikers in the world, nailed down Mesut Ozil to a contract extension and shipped off the now-superfluous Olivier Giroud to ensure the former deal went down. The Arsenal Aubameyang deal came at just the right time for the struggling Gunners. Now if they could just beat Swansea.

The Cyle Larin transfer drama finally came to a conclusion on Tuesday. Orlando City agreed to terms with Turkish giant Besiktas for the Canadian striker to move overseas, ending a weeks-long standoff between the involved parties, but not without some harsh comments from the Florida club. 

The biggest news from Monday’s presentation in Miami was that the city had been officially named the site of Major League Soccer’s 25th team, but a close second was Argentina and FC Barcelona star Lionel Messi appearing in a 15-second video clip to say hi, congratulations and commit his future to David Beckham, Miami and

Dismayed over Virgil van Dijk’s decision to join Liverpool, Manchester City have gone and broken their own club transfer record (the $77 million paid to Wolfsburg for Kevin De Bruyne in 2015) by signing La Liga’s most promising young defender, 23-year-old center back Aymeric Laporte, from Athletic Bilbao for $80 million.

After weeks of speculation linking Mexican international Miguel Layun with La Liga side Real Betis — where international compatriot Andres Guardado currently plays — derby rival Sevilla has announced the capture of the 29-year-old right back on loan with an option to buy in the summer, pending a medical scheduled for Tuesday.

In November of 2016, months after signing a one-year contract with Manchester United, Zlatan Ibrahimovic outlined his vision of one-upping Napoleon by accomplishing what the Emperor of the French could not: "I can see myself conquering the U.S. as I have with Europe. Lots of people stay in one place throughout their career, but I’ve travelled around like Napoleon, and conquered every new country where I’ve sat foot.

As usual, every other Premier League club is playing for second in the transfer market, behind the big spenders at Manchester City. The Citizens made the signing of the January window Saturday when they picked up Mix Diskerud — a.k.a. Nordic Messi, a.k.a. Which One Is Mix Diskerud And Which One Is Brek Shea Again — from New York City FC.