We Couldn’t Have Asked For A Better Tuesday In The UEFA Champions League

The Champions League returns tomorrow as the group stage kicks off with two marquee games that’ll garner attention across the globe: at 12:55 p.m. ET, Inter Milan and Tottenham do battle at the San Siro, and that’s followed by a 3:00 p.m. ET classic between Liverpool and PSG at Anfield. That’s one helluva first day.

Images Of Bobby Firmino’s Eye Injury Are Pretty Gruesome

Liverpool defeated Tottenham 2-1 with relative ease on Saturday. The Reds look like one of the best teams in England, if not Europe, right now after winning five straight to start the season. But a Roberto Firmino eye injury could put a damper on the high-flying start for Jurgen Klopp’s side.

(Warning: The images below are graphic. Proceed with discretion.)

Is Liverpool The Best Team In The Prem After Toppling Tottenham?

Liverpool was pretty good last year, if you’ll recall. Jurgen Klopp’s side reached the Champions League final and only Manchester City had fewer losses in Premier League play. 

This year, the Reds look even better.

Hugo Lloris Pleads Guilty To DUI, Fined $65,000 After Driving Over Twice The Legal Limit

Goalkeeper Hugo Lloris was reminded the hard way that fame and fortune does not make you immune to the law.

The Frenchman, who captained his country to World Cup victory this summer, pleaded guilty to a drunk-driving charge on Wednesday. He will have to pay a $65,000 fine and is banned from getting behind the wheel for 20 months.

Christian Eriksen Scored Twice To Defeat Wales And Nicklas Bendter Was Arrested — It Was A Typical Day In Denmark

If there are two things I know about Denmark, it’s that Nicklas Bendtner is a knucklehead and Christian Eriksen is really damn good.

Both of those truths were on display on Sunday.

Why Tottenham’s Son Heung-Min Avoided Mandatory Military Service By Beating Up On Some Kids

Tottenham fans can exhale. There will be no mandatory Son Heung-Min military service. All thanks to the Spurs midfielder beating up on a bunch of kids.

All South Korean men must complete 21 months of military service for the country, a response to the constant threat of the militaristic North Korea. There are only two ways to gain exemptions: win a medal at the Olympics or win gold at the Asian Games.

Son, 26, would be required to enter into military service by the time he turns 28, unless he could gain an exemption.

Same Old Boring Spurs Players Humiliate Manchester United At Old Trafford

Tottenham’s position as the target of the Meme Lords soccersplaining fury came to an end today following a stirring 3-0 victory over Manchester United at Old Trafford. The internet will now turn its collective fury at Jose Mourinho, who — surprisingly for a 55-year-old and two-time Champions League winner — seems to be genuinely affected by the treatment he’s receiving from various hacks and the Twittersphere.