Real Madrid

Cristiano has released a fragrance. This is a surprising thing only because this is the first time Cristiano Ronaldo has released a fragrance. 

We were shocked when we found this out. We figured Cristiano releases fragrances with the same frequency that some of us release bowel movements after we have eaten Taco Bell.

Cristiano's fragrance is called "Legacy," and we have no idea why. We guess it's one of those fragrance names engineered by marketers that's meant to sound kind of cool but ultimately means nothing.

Real Madrid certainly have a high opinion of Ronaldo. Which begs the question, how much is Cristiano Ronaldo worth to them?

Before we get into that, it's also worth asking why wouldn't Real Madrid assign a high value to Ronaldo? He's either the best or second-best footballer and one of the most marketabe athletes in the world. His jerseys fly off the shelves. He's the player people come to see when the come to see Real Madrid.

Paris Saint-Germain know this about Cristiano Ronaldo, and have in the past declared their intentions to buy him from Real Madrid.

Being a NYSE-listed company, Manchester United have to make statements to the market whenever there is significant turnover in senior personnel. When Sir Alex Ferguson announced his retirement, for example, it was first communicated in a formal statement to shareholders, and Manchester United PLC’s stock plummeted 4.5%.

A report on Twitter has David de Gea’s transfer from Manchester United to Real Madrid collapsing. 

The documents did not arrive on time!!!!!! Presentation was ready. All agreed. But as it stands de Gea stays at MUFC!!

— Guillem Balague (@GuillemBalague) August 31, 2015

Just in case you forgot how good James Rodriguez is, here's a little reminder.

The baby-faced Colombian attacking mid scored two golazos against Real Betis this weekend.

The first was an absurdly-angled free kick that bent just around the outstretched fingertips of Betis's keeper.

The second  was an overhead kick that must be seen to believe.

Keep up the good work, James.

The Madrid Museum of Wax has a statue of Cristiano Ronaldo in it. That in itself is not so weird. Cristiano is one of the most recognizable athletes in the world, and happens to play for a team in Madrid.

Cristiano saw his statue at the museum. This, too, is not so weird. If there existed a statue of us somewhere, we would likely venture to see it. 

He liked the statue. Still not weird. Statues in and of themselves are essentially compliments and should be taken as such.

He liked that statue so much he commissioned one just like it to be put in his house.

Prior to last weekend's La Liga opener, Gareth Bale was videotaped in slow motion scissor-kicking a soccer ball into a swimming pool.

This likely wasn't a Real Madrid-sanctioned practice activity, but it was still pretty cool. The fact that this is news serves as a reminder (like we needed one) that superstar footballers live wholly different lives than the rest of us.

Maybe he should have practiced scissor-kicking a ball into an actual soccer goal on an actual soccer field, given Real Madrid's 0-0 draw with newly-promoted Sporting Gijon to start the La Liga season.

Apparently, a young Finnish striker named Eero Markkanen was released by Real Madrid Castilla because he entered preseason camp 18 kg (40 lbs) heavier than he was last season.

40 lbs in gained weight is nothing so scoff at. That’s like a third or a fourth of a person that this guy tried to walk into camp with. I don’t care if he’s 6’ 5” and his nickname is “The Tank” — he is and it is — that’s ridiculous.

Markkanen responded to being let go on Twitter. 

La Liga started last weekend. It is a brand new 2015-16 season, but as Real Madrid played against Sporting Gijon it showed the same old problems of the preseason, and even the Carlo Ancelotti era: lack of goals.

You could say that the last great Real Madrid offensive show was in April 29, 2014 against Bayern Munich in the Champions League semifinal. Madrid scored four times against Bayern and eliminated them.

It’s time to face facts: the two best players in the world, Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo, are getting older.

Entering the 2015/2016 La Liga Season, which kicked off this weekend, Cristiano Ronaldo is 30. He will be 31 by February. The baby-faced flea, Messi, is now 28.

Both men have grown up, from young guns to team captains and leaders.

Now, just what does the future hold for the two best players alive?