The Arsenal-Liverpool game from the other day was exciting. More exciting than Chipotle’s secret menu even (yes it’s a thing — supposedly there’s something called a Burritodilla). It had goals, crunching tackles, endless drama, and that classic England atmosphere of perpetual rain. But even better than the show on the field was Jurgen Klopp’s celebration off it.
Imagine a world where Chelsea FC is owned by a shady billionaire who is probably involved in organized crime. Wait, that world already exists? OK, imagine that, but instead of a Russian oil baron the shady bilionaire is a Mexican drug trafficker. I am referring here to Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman, the boss of the Sinaloa Cartel who was arrested last week.
Arsenal vs Liverpool was one of the most exciting Premier League games of the year. After the dust settled and I realized that my Gunners had somehow managed to both satisfy and disappoint with a 3-3 draw, I could admittedly only remember the goals, the glorious goals. But what would come to my attention after the game was a single piece of skill from Arsenal’s #10: Mesut Ozil’s first touch in the 80th minute.
West Ham United was off to a hot start to the 2015/16 Premier League season. They rallied off a 6-3-3 record with the help of Dimitri Payet, who scored 5 goals and tacked on 3 assists. Things were going well for The Hammers, and then Payet went down with an ankle injury and West Ham went on to only win two of their next 9 games, with 5 of those matches resulting in ties. Getting points is always good, but the loss of Payet was affecting the squad in the win column.
Today was the Liverpool vs. Arsenal match, which holds a special place in The18's heart because two of our staff writers, Sam Klomhaus and Ivan Anich, are diehard fans of Liverpool and Arsenal, respectively. We made them watch the game together (plus a few cameos from Connor the intern), and hilarity ensued. Here's what transpired (Liverpool in italics, Arsenal regular):
Liverpool’s lineup: Mignolet; Clyne, Toure, Sakho, Moreno; Can, Milner, Henderson; Lallana, Firmino, Ibe
Newcastle United are struggling. They’re struggling for goals, they’re struggling to properly defend for 90 minutes and they’re struggling to get their fanbase behind a team that’s owned by a modern day slave driver and managed by the imprudently jubilant patch of hair that is Steve McClaren.
HE DID IT. HE DID IT. Wayne Rooney had been stumbling across the desert in dire need of a goal and he finally found the watering hole vs Swansea. The England man had not found the back of the net in a Premier League match since October 17th but that dreadful drought has ended, and he ended it in style with a filthy backheel. The peach of a goal was the 188th of his career in the EPL and the 238th of his Red Devil career. It moved him into second place in all time Premier League goals (Alan Shearer leads with 260) and second place in all time goals by a Manchestesr United player.
Thierry Henry is Arsenal's all-time leading goal scorer with 228 goals in all competitions. Choosing the best one out of those 228 would seem like a tall order, but it really isn't. Henry's goal against Manchester United back in 2000 was simply the most genius goals scored by the Frenchman. The goal is classic Henry. Flair, creativity, and execution is all there. It happens so quick and so unexpectedly as he turns a simple pass that really meant no harm, into absolute glory. Out of nowhere he flicks the ball in the air, and before you know it, he sends a cracker into back of the net.
So far this season, Liverpool FC have dominated Manchester City at Manchester City, done the same thing to Chelsea, been the first team to hold Leicester City scoreless, gone to penalties with a fourth division team, lost twice to West Ham, beat Southampton 6-1 and lost to Newcastle at home.
In short, Liverpool's season makes no sense. At least, that's what we thought. And then we found this video of Martin Skrtel wearing a mechanical turkey hat. And everything made sense.
Andy Yiadom must have, like, had a fight with his girl or something right before this game. That's the only thing we can think of to explain the level of confusion and misplaced rage demonstrated in this video.
Either that or he was on hold with Comcast.
The video starts out so normally, with Yiadom just standing there in the wall like a good boy. But then a Northampton Town player runs forward and then Yiadom runs forward and then AAAARRRRGGGHHHH ANGER AND RAGE.