Off the Pitch

Having a bad day at school or the office? Looking forward to making your way home, only to realize that it’s Tuesday and your agenda reads the laundry, a frozen dinner and an existential crises? Well, save those things for tomorrow, because it’s FIFA 17 demo day!

That’s right, at some point today, hopefully before 5:00 PM, the FIFA 17 demo will be released through the various console markets. It’ll cost you nothing and grant you the ability to see what FIFA 17 has in store for us.

Remember when Daft Punk released their magnum opus Random Access Memories in 2013, heralded with a genius marketing campaign combining new school strategy and old school nostalgia? By slowly teasing the album’s release, the electronic masters created a buzz that engulfed social media. 

It has been three years since those seminal moments in the music industry, but we appear to be on the verge of another musical zeitgeist. The sound of 2016 is going to be provided by none other than Neymar, his aptly titled #Neymusico already causing a Twitterstorm.

“I uh…I eat a lot of frozen stuff…It’s usually pretty bad, I mean the pictures are always so awesome, you know? It’s like ‘Hell yeah, I’m starved for this lasagna!’ and then you nuke it and the cheese gets all scabby on top and it’s like…it’s like you’re eating a scab…I mean, seriously, what’s that about? It’s like ‘Yo! What ever happened to truth in advertising?’ You know?” -Jesse Pinkman

This quote from Aaron Paul’s Breaking Bad character could effectively be applied to Paul’s own PokerStars Duel face-off against footballing superstar Cristiano Ronaldo. 

Puebla midfielder Christian "Hobbit" Bermudez is apparently in jail for not paying his child support.

And he's got visitors!

Jugadores del Puebla visitaron al Hobbit Bermúdez en el Reclusorio Norte. pic.twitter.com/iYejqdv2NJ

— Andre Marín (@andremarinpuig) August 30, 2016

Cristiano Ronaldo has been named the UEFA Player of the Season, much to the chagrin of one Antoine Griezmann, who thought he merited the win.

Here's what Griezmann told World Soccer earlier this week:

"Without being big-headed, I think I deserve it because I had a great season with my club and with the national team. Maybe I deserve to win the award.

Sometimes a story comes along that just feels right. This is one of those. Mino Raiola, the super-agent who represents Manchester United new boys Paul Pogba, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Henrikh Mkhitaryan, has purchased a Miami beach house once owned by crime boss Al Capone.