Off the Pitch

Chicharito Is Really Bad At This Challenge

Javier "Chicharito" Hernandez is good at a lot of things. Chicharito can score with his feet, his head and, most impressively, his face for both club (West Ham) and country (Mexico). Hammers teammate Pablo Zabaleta is also a pretty good football player, having played right back for Manchester City and the Argentine national team for many years. But neither are very good at the game they played Friday: a Don’t-Laugh Challenge. 

FIFA Corruption Trial Defense Lawyer Makes Case Client Was Too Clueless To Be Crooked

The FIFA corruption trial for three South Americans started weird, got weirder and ended with a little bit more weird on Thursday in New York City. During the closing arguments, the defense attorney for a former president of Brazil’s soccer federation basically tried to make the case that his client was too dumb to be involved in the bribery scandals that have rocked FIFA.

This Statue Is To Maradona What Gollum Is To Smeagol

One of these days, The18.com will run out of content, because one of these days, sculptors will stop creating horrible statues of

Peru’s Paolo Guerrero Tries To Be Maradona, Gets Banned For World Cup

Paolo Guerrero thought he could be Diego Maradona. Now Peru’s captain and all-time leading goal scorer will be suspended for the country’s first World Cup in 36 years. FIFA handed down a 12-month ban to Guerrero for testing positive for a banned stimulant following a CONMEBOL World Cup qualifier, football’s world governing body announced Thursday.

Jonas Brother Takes Stand At FIFA Corruption Trial … Wait What?

No one ever said the FIFA corruption trials would be normal. But I don’t think anyone expected this bizarre turn of events. Kevin Jonas was called to the stand to testify for the prosecution during the ongoing court case on Thursday at a U.S. Federal Court in Brooklyn. 

Peruvian Striker Claudio Pizarro Has Voiceover Role In German Version Of Pixar’s ‘Coco’

A Cologne striker has finally scored — a role in a new movie. Peruvian Claudio Pizarro voices a character in the German-language version of the new animated Pixar film “Coco,” which is out now in a Kino near you (assuming you live in Germany). 

Pizarro is an old man nearing the end of his career on the pitch. He may have found a new calling with his voiceover role in “Coco,” which is about a young Mexican boy who is transported to the Land of the Dead during Día de los Muertos. The 39-year-old voices a skeleton who desperately wants to watch a soccer match.

Romelu Lukaku Doesn’t Need Belgian Prime Minister To Avoid American Jail

Sports stars just get all the luck, don’t they? First the UCLA basketball players get bailed out of a Chinese jail after shoplifting, not Romelu Lukaku is avoiding jail time in another foreign country: the United States.

The Belgian striker will pay a $450 fine to avoid potentially six months in jail stemming from a series of noise complaints while staying in Beverly Hills over the summer. 

The FIFA Corruption Trials Are Playing Out Like An Episode Of Sopranos

We’re entering the second week of FIFA corruption trials for three men in New York City and already the court cases are providing more entertainment than an HBO series. The FIFA scandal keeps getting weirder, and that’s not really a good thing for fans of the game, but it’s great for fans of an interesting narrative. 

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