Newcastle

Renato Sanches Smashes Joselu In The Nutz On Premier League Debut

After spending the majority of the 2016-17 season on the bench at Bayern Munich, Renato Sanches made his Premier League debut with Swansea City on Sunday and looked just like a footballer that’d spent a lot of time riding the pine.

What Does A Soccer Captain Do?

“What does a soccer captain do?” you typed into the search engine named Google. Here’s your answer in the form of 23-year-old Newcastle United center back Jamaal Lascelles. The Englishman skippered Newcastle’s return to the Premier League, and now he’s earned the Magpies a vital victory over Swansea City with a heartfelt block and buccaneering header.

Financial Fair Play Not Even The Least Bit Interested In Investigating Newcastle United

Finally, a bit of good news for Newcastle United supporters around the world. After a net spend of around $26 million in the summer transfer window (or roughly one-tenth of a Neymar if you prefer), The18 can confirm that the club have steered cleared of a dreaded investigation from UEFA over financial fair play. 

This will undoubtedly bring great joy to manager Rafa Benitez, who was promised “every last penny” by owner Mike Ashley back in May and then landed Jacob Murphy from Norwich City as the club’s marquee signing. 

Huddersfield Town Retain Invincibles Status For Another Week

With a 1-0 victory over Newcastle United, Huddersfield Town rose to second place in the Premier League table, sitting behind Manchester United on goal difference alone. We’re only two weeks into the season, but the Terriers are off to an almighty flyer in the top division.

German-American coach David Wagner and his squad are Invincibles.  

This week’s result isn’t as eye-catching as their 3-0 win over Crystal Palace, but Huddersfield looked exceptionally more qualified for life in the Premier League than fellow newcomers Newcastle.

Jonjo Shelvey Receives Red Card For Most Boneheaded Move Ever

In the Premier League boneheaded move of the day, Jonjo Shelvey received straight red for stomping on the ankle of Dele Alli in plain sight of the referee.

And when we say "in plain sight of the referee," we mean that the referee could not have been any closer, or paying closer attention. See Exhibit A:

Mike Ashley's Net Worth And Drinking Habits, Explained

Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley has an estimated net worth of £2.2 billion, making him the 54th-richest person in the United Kingdom, according to the Sunday Times rich list.

He also is a bit of a drinker, per the Guardian:

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