The International Champions Cup begings today and with it comes an assault of hyperbole, a glut of sponsors and a legion of mercenary money-grubbers. It’s hell on earth as ESPN tells us that Miami’s El Clasico will be the biggest event in American soccer history, Heineken encourages you to consume a pony keg by way of IV drip and Manchester United plant their imperial flag in Sandy, Utah.
Kyle Walker is the most expensive defender ever. Kyle Walker is the most expensive English player ever. Kyle Walker.
I'm sure Pep Guardiola knows what he's doing, really I am, but why on earth would he spend $65 million on English Alberto Moreno? Does Guardiola truly believe Walker is worth that price, or is he, like, trying to challenge himself?
Brazilian internationals Neymar and Gabriel Jesus put on a show in a Red Bull five-a-side competition this weekend, embarrassing opponents while the Facebook broadcaster embarrassed himself with some truly godawful commentating.
It’s a difficult job trying hype a competition — and every single thing that happens in it — that’s obviously just for s**ts and giggles, but this guy clearly doesn’t know that Gabriel Jesus isn’t Gabigol — that’s fellow Brazilian Gabriel Barbosa, who plays for Inter Milan.
The likes of Arsenal, Everton, Leicester City, Newcastle United and Tottenham all saw the majority of their players return to the training ground for the start of preseason today. Many other sides, like Manchester United, Liverpool and Chelsea, will also begin their preparations this week.
Ahh summer. Warm sunshine, no school, beaches, vacations, international B teams competing for second-rate trophies and, of course, weddings.
It’s wedding season in the soccer world and trophy husbands are being tied down by women left and right.
Lionel Messi is tying the knot (and eating empanadas) on Friday, so a couple English Premier League stars got hitched this past weekend so as not to be overshadowed by he-who-overshadows-everything in soccer.
Suffering from Champions League withdrawal?
It’s been less than a month since Real Madrid thrashed Juventus to claim the crown of top club in Europe, but teams are about to begin the quest to take away that crown.
The first qualifying round for the world’s premier club competition (go away, FIFA Club World Cup, no one cares about you) begins Tuesday and Wednesday.
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