The transfer saga embroiling Barcelona, Paris Saint-Germain and Neymar reached a crescendo on Wednesday, although only the most ardent of Neymar and Blaugrana supporters wouldn’t have seen it coming. Barca released a statement confirming Neymar’s desire to leave the club for around $263 million, and Neymar informed his teammates of his decision before missing the day’s training session.
The greatness of Lionel Messi may never be understood. If you’ve seen him run circles around defenders like they're cones or just taken a glance at the numbers that define his career, you're probably asking yourself “How does this man do it?”
Though we may never fully know the answer, when a specimen like Messi comes around, we want to analyze every aspect of his or her existence to figure out what makes them unstoppable. How do they train? What were their parents like? Do they like flipping their pillows onto the cold side before they go to bed?!
No disrespect to Lionel Messi, but if your 10-year-old kid started doing this one day in the backyard, would you think “Gee, little Jimmy’s sure showing an inclination towards soccer” or would you think “Gee, little Jimmy may literally be the Devil incarnate”?
Based on a genetic family history more prone to madness than to footballing excellence, I’d opt for the latter. No disrespect to Messi, but if my son were doing this, I’d check for a weird birthmark and ask my local priest for seven sacrificial daggers.
There’s something beautiful about watching Lionel Messi in action. It’s poetic, balletic and scintillating. The anticipation when he receives the ball brings butterflies to the stomach. The way he effortlessly skips by defenders and zips in shots from long range makes the heart sing. How he deftly controls a sharp pass with the outside of his left boot before depositing a shot into the lower corner tingles the senses like a romantic first kiss.
But mostly, we just love seeing Messi embarrassing the sorry fools who try to stop him week after week.
The International Champions Cup begings today and with it comes an assault of hyperbole, a glut of sponsors and a legion of mercenary money-grubbers. It’s hell on earth as ESPN tells us that Miami’s El Clasico will be the biggest event in American soccer history, Heineken encourages you to consume a pony keg by way of IV drip and Manchester United plant their imperial flag in Sandy, Utah.
You know how honeymoons are supposed to work: the newlyweds are supposed to hop on a plane and spend a few weeks being very romantic and doing it a lot while not seeing a single person they have ever met or will meet again. This is a tried-and true formula, but it is not the formula Lionel Messi and wife Antonella Roccuzzo are using, because their honeymoon includes Luis Suarez.