Lionel Messi

Javier Mascherano’s Patented Anus-Tearing Tackle Sparks Barcelona Victory

With Ousmane Dembele’s transfer opera turning sour and Luis Suarez out for up to five weeks with a knee injury, Barcelona opened their La Liga campaign on Sunday with Lionel Messi shouldering the burden of his side’s attacking ambition.

But the play of the day wasn’t provided by Messi, it was provided by the only Argentinian teammate he can rely on, Javier Mascherano. 

Lionel Messi Still Hasn't Signed His New Contract

Lionel Messi has agreed to sign a new contract with Barcelona, but Messi has not actually signed said contract yet.

This is obviously not good for Barcelona, who have to deal with the fallout from Neymar's transfer. Messi's current deal runs out after this season, but Barcelona have always maintained Messi would stay at the Camp Nou. It seemed like that was a certainty when La Pulga's new deal was announced earlier in the summer, to be officially signed when Messi showed up for pre-season training.

Barcelona Already Have A Replacement For Iniesta: It's Messi

Before Neymar came along and threw a wrench into the machinery, Barcelona's big transfer project for the summer was finding a long-term replacement for aging (but still devilishly good) midfielder Andres Iniesta.

Obviously, the Neymar business changed things, as evidenced by the fact that Barcelona are flinging cash at any attacker in Europe with two feet and a pulse. They seem to have abandoned the hunt for a new number 10. And, no, Paulinho doesn't count.

Cristiano Ronaldo vs. Lionel Messi: Red Card, Yellow Card Comparison

Lionel Messi is the good, wholesome boy while Cristiano Ronaldo is the arrogant bad boy. It’s a typical narrative when comparing the temperaments of the two, but there is evidence to support the claim, at least in terms of disciplinary records.

Ronaldo picked up his 10th career red card on Sunday in the Super Copa against Messi’s Barcelona. Messi’s lone red card came 43 seconds after making his Argentina debut in 2005. 

Let's Just Replace Commentators With The Titanic Music Whenever Barcelona Plays

This weekend, Barcelona began their season with a 3-1 steamrolling at the hands of Real Madrid. The first goal came at the hands of Barcelona center back Gerard Pique, who hates Real Madrid with the fiery white-hot passion of a thousand suns and was none too pleased about putting the ball into his own net so Madrid didn't have to.

To accentuate Pique's sadness, some intrepid Internet person set Pique's Blunder to the saddest song in popular culture, courtesy of Celine Dion.

Ronaldo, Real Madrid Abuse Pique, Barcelona In First Leg Of Super Copa

Cristiano Ronaldo showed off his gorgeous summer tan then got a red card to match his new skin tone. Gerard Piqué showed off some center forward's skills then scored for the wrong team. In a wild first leg of an El Clasico verison of the Spanish Super Copa, Real Madrid exploited Pique's defensive abilities for a 3-1 victory at the Camp Nou. But Los Blancos will have to play the second leg (and perhaps longer) without Ronaldo, who shoved the referee after being shown a second yellow card.

Gonzalo Higuain Dropped For Massive Argentina-Uruguay World Cup Qualifier

Newly appointed Argentina manager Jorge Sampaoli has wasted no time putting his own stamp on the national team by recalling once-exiled Inter Milan striker Mauro Icardi and dropping the oft-criticized Gonzalo Higuain for crucial upcoming World Cup qualifiers against Uruguay and Venezuela.

Icardi is joined in Argentina’s attack by Lionel Messi, Paulo Dybala, Joaquin Correa and Sergio Aguero, who was left out of Sampaoli’s first Argentina squad for friendlies against Brazil and Singapore back in June.

Only These Hikers And Jerome Boateng Know The True Meaning Of Fear

There was a moment in the Copa America Cenenario when I saw 11 men realize the true meaning of fear. It was in the semifinal between the United States and Argentina. Argentina were up 1-0 and had just won a free kick in a dangerous area. Lionel Messi stood over the ball as Brad Guzan set up his wall. Then Messi bent down and tied his shoes. It was the most terrifying thing I've seen in my life. You knew right then that he was going to score and there was nothing the USA could do about it.

Here’s How Losing Neymar Can Be A Good Thing For Barcelona

I had a coworker at a previous job who always told me no one is irreplaceable. The company has been there for years and it will continue to be there for years, so don’t think for a moment any one employee is bigger than the company. Then he was arrested for diddling a high schooler and I was promoted to his job.

Neymar is not bigger than Barcelona. The Blaugrana will be fine.

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