LaLiga

We’re ten years into the era when Lionel Messi does things like this, and they just never, ever age.

Poor Celta defender Jonny Gomes was hung out to dry, put in a spin cycle, or any other laundry phrase you’re inclined to turn. That’s also Ray Hudson bwaaaaaaaahh’ing his approval when the reigning La Liga Player of the Month freezes the poor guy, dangles the cheese, and then takes it away.That led to this, the ensuing penalty, where Messi . . . passed?

Trivia question: how many times has Lionel Messi won La Liga Player of the month? A hundred? Fifty?  Seventy five?

Answer: one. And it was last month. 

That's right, after 298 goals, making him La Liga's all-time leading scorer, Messi has finally been named Player of the Month in La Liga. The 28-year-old Argentine has won the FIFA Ballon d'Or four times, La Liga Player of the Year six times and the UEFA Best Player of the Year award twice.

And La Liga Player of the Month once.

As promised, my predictions for futbal were awful, 0-5…but I nailed the Super Bowl call, I will take it. Enough said about that, on to the top five matches you can’t miss this weekend:

Juventus vs. Napoli, Saturday 2:45 p.m. EST beIN Sports

It was a quiet weekend for Mexico internationals in Europe. Then Monday rolled around, and Carlos Vela reminded everyone that he is, in fact, a very good striker and Diego Reyes reminded everyone that he is, in fact, a professional soccer player. Carlos Vela and Diego Reyes were instrumental in Real Sociedad's 5-0 humiliation of Espanyol Monday.

Vela got going with this beautiful chip to give Sociedad a 2-0 lead.

The AP reported that Lionel Messi is set to undergo medical tests related to a kidney problem he suffered in December that seems to have recurred. Naturally, we as a soccer website are handling this news with the trademark reserve and calm of the worldwide soccer community. We are not panicking at all.

We don't know if anyone noticed this, but Lionel Messi is pretty good at soccer. He scored a hat trick in Barcelona's 7-0 demolition of Gary Neville's Valencia side Wednesday. 

Oh God Don't Do 'Em Like That Messi

¡GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!
La pulga con un 3-0 de playstation pero nivel leyenda. Barça golea en 30'. #CopadelRey https://t.co/mQV3UtS8ad

Barcelona just handed Valencia its worst defeat in 23 years. That’s not something to take lightly. In fact, it’s the kind of thing heard before a lot of people get fired. But somehow, amidst all of the goals (four for Luis Suarez, three for Lionel Messi, for a grand total of Barcelona 7, Valencia 0), all of the cries for mercy, and a complete lack of defending, the singularly most embarrassing moment of the night might belong to Barcelona, courtesy of Neymar’s penalty miss against Valencia.

Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo have dominated the game for so long we can barely remember who dominated the game before them. A statistic that really puts this feeling into perspective is this: Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo now have 1,000 goals combined in their careers.

Goal number 1,000 came via La Pulga Saturday againt Atletico Madrid.

All eyes are on Spain this Saturday as Diego Godin, Atletico Madrid and the staunchest defense in Europe face Barcelona in a battle of one versus two in the Spanish table.

In England, the FA Cup resumes while league play dominates the rest of Europe and the Western Hemisphere.  

Before we get to the best five matches of the weekend, I must shamefully admit that I missed all but one game last weekend (thank God for Juventus!!!). Hopefully, I have more clairvoyance this week.

1. Barcelona vs. Atletico Madrid, Saturday 10 a.m. EST beIN Sports

Lionel Messi is unique among athletes in that there are lots of people who think it's totally worth getting arrested just to be a little nearer to him. American sports don't see near the amount of fans running on to fields that soccer does, especially in regards to Messi. One young fan appeared to have made the most of his pitch-invaderdom following Barcelona's game against Malaga, hugging Messi and ending up with a game-worn Messi jersey.

And then the security guards decided to keep the Messi jersey for themselves.