José Mourinho

The Chicago Fire have signed 32-year-old German midfielder Bastian Schweinsteiger from Manchester United, handing him one of the top 10 biggest contracts in the league. Schweinsteiger could make his Chicago debut as early as April 1 against Montreal.

According to FOX Soccer, the transfer fee is around $4.5 million. Schweinsteiger joined Manchester United from Bayern Munich back in July of 2015 for almost $10 million, but he struggled to make an impact at the club under Louis van Gaal. 

Jose Mourinho generally gives off an air that he thinks he's the smartest man in the room. We guess even the smartest man in the room forgets the alphabet sometimes.

"We don't have A, B, C, D, E, F, G..but we have L, M, N, S, O, P" pic.twitter.com/DiflA8Ky5B

— NBC Sports Soccer (@NBCSportsSoccer) March 19, 2017

It could be argued that this was Jose Mourinho’s masterplan all along against Rostov at Old Trafford, to sit back, control possession against an ultra-defensive setup and just let Zlatan Ibrahimovic do his thing.

It worked, and no one will remember this game tomorrow. Manchester United are through to the quarterfinals of the Europa League thanks to a beautiful assist from Ibrahimovic. United required a phenomenal save from Sergio Romero at the death to avoid extra time, and everything else made you want to be crushed by the skull of Marouane Fellaini. 

Jose Mourinho believes the world is off-kilter, and he fears for the coming generations. For example, Paul Pogba makes roughly $355,000 per week for Manchester United, and some people still have the audacity to criticize his performances.

Mourinho thinks there’s a plague of covetousness affecting the globe, that the fact that half of the world’s wealth belongs to the top one percent is only a problem because the other 99 percent of humanity is just a bunch of jealous motherf***ers that want all that money for themselves.

The Олимп-2 pitch in Rostov-on-Don was frozen. It was wonderfully patchy and Jose Mourinho wondered if you could even call it a field at all. His desire to have the venue changed was laughed off by a UEFA official, Mourinho claiming the official told him “the players are insured, so if something happens, no problem.”

For better or for worse, Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho has taken every competition seriously this campaign. You could say for better because it’s resulted in United reaching the EFL Cup final, the FA Cup quarterfinals and the Europa League round of 16.

You could say for worse because with the Red Devils holding a 3-0 advantage over Saint-Etienne in the Europa League, Mourinho elected to field a strong side in the second leg, resulting in injuries that will rule both Henrikh Mkhitaryan and Michael Carrick out of Sunday’s EFL Cup final.