Humor
I Like Landon Donovan, But I Can’t Hear Landon Donovan
When the United States began their Gold Cup campaign last Saturday I was in a bar. I was there to watch this game, but somewhere around the 30th minute I started to drift. I was like a pass from the American midfield — serenely floating here and there without any purpose or sense of direction.
Dom Dwyer’s opening goal sent the bartender on a rambling ode to Sydney Leroux that lasted until tonight’s match against Nicaragua, a week-long sonnet on unrealized love.
Two Impressionist Nail A Wayne Rooney And Donald Trump Interaction
Landon Donovan's Son Is A Jacked Baby And Going To Be Good At Soccer
Landon Donovan posted a video of his son Talon scoring a goal in his backyard, and little Talon looks like he's on the fast track to the USMNT. His dad posted the caption, "He's going to kill me for this when he gets older. Oh well."
If Steve McNulty Was An American Athlete, Twitter Would Be Obsessed With Him
Twitter loves large adult sons: big goofy dudes who run around and make a ruckus with startling athleticism. What does this have to do with soccer? Well, soccer is rapidly growing in the United States, but it would be growing even faster if it had a large adult son to piggyback on.
Paul Pogba Has Had A Wild And Magical Summer
After a long season that ended with a Europa League title, Manchester United midfielder Paul Pogba needed some time to decompress and celebrate after playing 51 matches for his club. He certainly did just that.
Take a look at Pogba's unforgettable Summer '17.
Pogba kicked off May with a pilgrimage to Mecca, the holiest and most important site in the world for Muslims like himself.
An Italian Magazine Voted This As The Worst 20 Seconds Of Soccer Ever Played
This Soccer Genetic Testing Commercial Is Unnerving And Also Really Bad
There are a lot of bad commercials which make it on TV. Sometimes, though, a commercial is so bad it becomes good, like life found poetry.
Soccer Genomics is a company that will test your genes for various soccer-related traits and convey that information back to you so you can make judgments. Soccer Genomics encourages parents to do this for their children because presumably they are insane and think a lot of parents are insane too.
This is an extremely bad commercial. It is also an extremely good commercial.
Romelu Lukaku And Paul Pogba Debate Who Has Prettier Feet And Who Dropped The Best Rap Album Of 2017
CONCACAF Mandatory Hydration Breaks Probably Have Nothing To Do With BODYARMOR Sponsorship
Look guys, we're relatively certain that the mandatory hydration breaks during the 2017 Gold Cup match between the USA and Panama have nothing to do with CONCACAF's newly announced "hydration partnership" with sports drink maker BODYARMOR. We know it's tempting to think that there is some connection here, but settle down.