Humor

3 Times Animals Channeled Their Favorite Defenders And Crunched Into Tackles

Defending, on the face of it, is a pretty animalistic art. Without a doubt, there are a myriad of subtleties to transform it into a fine art, but you still won’t get very far as a defender without being physical and instinctive. You’ve got to have the appetite for getting stuck in and crunching — you’ve got to mark your territory with blood, sweat and piss. 

FC Magdeburg's Tifo Will Scare The Living Daylights Out Of You

Borussia Dortmund played a very Halloween-themed DFB-Pokal match Tuesday against FC Magdeburg, whose fans have a well-earned reputation for amusing antics. Look at this tifo the hosts brought out to welcome their opponents. Unless you were scared by the "Saw" movies.

Wenger Watch Carabao Cup Special: Bailed Out By A Child

ALL HAIL ARSENE WENGER, GOD OF SUBSTITUTIONS.

ALSO, ALL HAIL EDDIE NKETIAH, WHO SCORED JUST 15 SECONDS AFTER ENTERING ARSENAL'S CARABAO CUP MATCH AGAINST NORWICH CITY TO TIE THE GAME UP, AND SCORED AGAIN IN EXTRA TIME TO WIN IT.

Watch Samuel Eto’o Score And Know That Time Is A Flat Circle

“Your whole life, like a sandglass, will always be reversed and will ever run out again, — a long minute of time will elapse until all those conditions out of which you were evolved return in the wheel of the cosmic process. And then you will find every pain and every pleasure, every friend and every enemy, every hope and every error, every blade of grass and every ray of sunshine once more, and the whole fabric of things which make up your life.”

After Sepp Blatter, 5 Invites Vladimir Putin Needs To Make For The World Cup

Vladimir Putin “would be glad” to see banned FIFA dignitaries Sepp Blatter and Michel Platini at the 2018 World Cup, according to the Russian president’s spokesperson Dmitry Peskov. Blatter and Platini have both received lengthy bans from FIFA for their roles in a secret payment made from Blatter’s FIFA to Platini, then the UEFA boss. The two held their posts atop the federations when Russia was awarded the 2018 World Cup (and Qatar for 2022, but that’s another story). 

Wenger Watch Europa League Special: Olivier Giroud To The Rescue!

The bad taste in Arsenal fans' mouths from losing to Watford this weekend is still there, but it was diluted a bit when Arsenal's extremely handsome Frenchman went inverted to lift the Gunners over Red Star Belgrade.

It was cool!

Alavaro Morata's Life Flashes Before Him After Being Nutmegged By Edin Dzeko

These Incredible Brazilian Fans Snuck A Pig Into A Soccer Game

Some fans in Brazil have set a new bar for smuggling things into soccer games. They brought a pig.

What If The U.S. Hosted Its Own Tournament With Other Failed World Cup Qualifiers?

Bender Bending Rodriguez has the right idea. If you can’t get into the party, just create your own.

With the U.S. officially out of the 2018 World Cup, it should consider hosting its own alternate World Cup for other World Cup castoffs. We’ll call it the Jack Warner Invitational and invite all the other countries who suck too much to be included in Russia. Plus, who wanted to go to Russia anyway? Buncha Commies. 

This Club Lined Up With 10 Messis To Celebrate Leo's World Cup Qualification Heroics

Lionel Messi scored a hat trick against Ecuador to secure Argentina's place at the 2018 World Cup in Russia last Tuesday. Folks in Argentina are understandibly excited about that. One Argentine club, Sacachispas, was so excited they went out and did this:

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