Highlights

Dorlan Pabón Scored One Of The Greatest Braces In Liga MX History

Monterrey kept pace with Tigres at the top of the Liga MX Clausura table with a 2-0 victory over Guadalajara at Akron Stadium on Saturday, and both Rayados goals were of the highest order.

Also, they were both scored by Colombian attacker Dorlan Pabón, who ripped a long-range golazo in the second minute and then did it again in the 89th.

Here’s the first.

Here’s the second. Déjà vu.

MLS Opens With Beckham Statue, Referee Sub And Coldest Game In History

The 24th season of Major League Soccer kicked off yesterday with 20 of the league’s 24 teams in action on opening day. If you weren’t glued to your TV for 12 straight hours, you might’ve missed something. Here’s a quick recap of the major storylines from Day One.

We got things started in Philadelphia, where Mexican international Marco Fabián opened his Union account from the penalty spot, but a Michael Bradley brace helped Toronto FC to a 3-1 road victory.

Landon Donovan Scores First Pro Indoor Goal 12 Seconds Into Match

The current Landon Donovan soccer revival is going a bit better than his return from retirement last year.

The Özil Bounce Is The Most Unique Shot In The Game

Mesut Özil scored his fourth goal of the Premier League season in Arsenal’s fairly simple 5-1 win over Bournemouth on Wednesday. 

Özil’s strike opened the scoring in the fourth minute, having been played in by Sead Kolasinac. The German had only the keeper to beat, and he did so with relative ease. But his shot was anything but usual.

Straight-Up Disrespectful Luis Suarez Panenka Finishes Barca’s Humiliation Of Real Madrid

Barcelona’s quest for a fifth straight Copa del Rey title will be decided on May 25 at the Estadio Benito Villamarín after Wednesday’s 3-0 semifinal second leg victory over Real Madrid at the Santiago Bernabéu. The aggregate score remained 1-1 going into the second half, but a Luis Suarez brace and Raphael Varane own goal in the space of 23 minutes granted Barcelona passage to the final at the expense of its El Clásico rival.

Newcastle’s Fabian Schar Proves That Center Backs Are Soccer People Too

Sometimes you have to wonder about the hype surrounding the English Premier League. You’re supposed to treat Manchester United-Liverpool like a druid at the summer solstice, but it turns out to be 90 minutes of apocalyptic despair.

You then put on Newcastle United-Burnley and see Atlanta United’s Miguel Almiron bossing things, $66 million Liverpool target James Tarkowski sky a sitter from yards out and commentators treat the introduction of a 38-year-old Peter Crouch like the second coming of Marco van Basten.

Tyler Adams Enters Match With Leipzig Trailing, Gets Involved In Late Equalizer

Tyler Adams has started four matches for RB Leipzig following his January move, and the Bundesliga side has won all four of those games. However, even though he registered his first assist in Leipzig’s victory over Stuttgart last time out, the 20-year-old American was forced to take a spot on the bench for today’s game against Hoffenheim.

20-Yard Overhead Kick Greatly Pleases Manager Diego Maradona

Last time we checked in with Diego Maradona and Dorados, it was to report on the Argentine legend’s antics during his side’s Ascenso MX Apertura final defeat. After the heartbreak of that 4-3 aggregate defeat, Maradona has since returned to lead Dorados during the Clausura season.

While the club has achieved success in the Copa MX — they’ll play Liga MX side Atlas on Tuesday in the Round of 16 — the regular season has been something of a disaster for the club. After six matches, Dorados has only managed one win.

Luis Muriel Goes Top Bins With A Beautiful Free Kick From Nearly 30 Yards Out

While the saga surrounding Mauro Icardi continues to develop, Inter Milan’s top four aspirations took a wobble Sunday after throwing away a 3-1 lead over Fiorentina with just 16 minutes remaining. 

God Officially Hands Over The Reins To Messi

Lionel Messi registered his 50th professional hat trick Saturday, which led to another Twitter frenzy.

Messi now trails just Cristiano Ronaldo with regards to career hat tricks — Ronaldo has 51 three-score outings. The two are compared and argued over more than we’d like to admit. However, the GOAT discussion has officially ended.

Both players have received praise from about everyone in the world, but Messi has officially one-upped his rival with this unmatchable praise:

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