Harry Kane

From a neutral’s perspective, thank God for Harry Kane. The Tottenham striker scored his 18th and 19th goals of the campaign to keep a bit of pressure on Chelsea before their match against West Ham on Monday. Tottenham defeated Everton 3-2 on Sunday in a match featuring the Premier League’s leading scorers, Kane and Romelu Lukaku.

If there's one thing we love in life, it's laughing at Harry Kane. The man is just an easy target.

He's an even easier target than normal when he misses a penalty. Join us in laughing as Harry skies a penalty against Stoke.

#HarryKane misses a penalty. Whhhy He is my captain in #fantasyfootball..  pic.twitter.com/gN7mDBiMEi

For all of Tottenham’s sustained excellence throughout the 2015-16 Premier League season, they’ve now got absolutely nothing to show for it. Arsenal infamously pipped Spurs to the runner-up position on the final day of the season, launching an improbable St. Totteringham’s Day, and they’ve now thrown away their reward for finishing third by being eliminated in the Champions League group stage.

We haven't seen this much magic since J.K. Rowling wrapped up her 7-book series.

In a stunning last-minute victory, Tottenham scored two goals in four minutes to steal three points from West Ham in today's London Derby.

To be fair, it was two different Harrys who left West Ham standing around, stunned, looking like a bunch of muggles at the end of the match. 

In the early minutes of the second half, it was 20-year-old Harry Winks who created some magic as he put away his first Premier League goal in his Premier League debut:

England were unceremoniously dumped out of Euro 2016 by a plucky, vastly underrated Iceland side, and now everyone in England is mad. They are mostly mad at Raheem Sterling (for no real good reason), but they are also mad at Harry Kane.

They are so mad someone made this very funny video of Harry Kane, who is a legitimately nice dude and doesn't deserve this, kicking set pieces in every direction except toward the goal.

England took on Portugal today in an internatinoal friendly. The match was really more of a tune-up game for the imminent Euro 2016 tournament than anything else, and so both sides were looking to learn more about their players, try out some new things, and generally just finish off the day better than they started it.

Except for Bruno Alves. Bruno Alves almost killed Harry Kane.

Harry Kane spent the 2011/12 season on loan at English Championship side Millwall F.C., a club known more for its associations with hooliganism and their supporter’s chant “No one likes us, we don’t care” than as the home of future England internationals. 

Under the watchful eye of England’s then U-21 manager, Stuart Pearce, an 18-year-old Kane failed to impress.