Gossip

According To Dad, Thiago Messi “Is A Phenomenon,” Mateo “A Son Of A Bitch”

We’ve got it, we’ve pinned down two-year-old Mateo Messi’s future on the pitch. After graduating from La Masia summa cum laude, the phenom will replace a 45-year-old Sergio Busquets in Barcelona’s holding midfield role, because, according to father Lionel, Mateo is “un hijo de puta.” He’s a real mean sumbitch.  

Ronaldo Is Reportedly Mad At Isco For Not Celebrating His Assist With Enough Fervor

Cristiano Ronaldo's assist to Isco during Sunday's 3-0 win against Las Palmas was the product of a brilliant, surging run down the right wing.

Chivas Manager Matias Almeyda Would Be An Ideal Fit For The Leicester City Job

Right when we thought things couldn't get worse for Chivas de Guadalajara, a shocking rumor comes roaring from overseas: The Mirror has reported that Chivas manager Matias Almeyda is now a “shock contender” to succeed Craig Shakespeare as Leicester City manager.

Although there had been persistent talk that Almeyda’s days managing Chivas were numbered, nothing had yet been solidified.

6 Salacious Transfer Rumors That Are Too Legit To Quit

The closing of the transfer window sees various plot lines reach a unifying crescendo: Leicester City, with their Premier League title and Champions League adventure now firmly behind them, are about to be torn apart. Monaco, already torn apart, are subject to further tearing. Barcelona still have Neymar cash to flush, and they’re giving any wide player that scored more than 10 league goals last season the eye.

I Saw A Plane. It Probably Has Virgil Van Dijk On It

With rabid Liverpool fans having allegedly crashed a flight-tracking website while investigating Virgil van Dijk's whereabouts, it has become clear that technology cannot be trusted at this moment. We must know where Virgil van Dijk is and what he is doing, and if technology proves unreliable to our cause then said technology must be binned. As such, I have taken to staring up at the sky in search of transfer news, and that has led me to a stunning revelation.

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