We’ve got it, we’ve pinned down two-year-old Mateo Messi’s future on the pitch. After graduating from La Masia summa cum laude, the phenom will replace a 45-year-old Sergio Busquets in Barcelona’s holding midfield role, because, according to father Lionel, Mateo is “un hijo de puta.” He’s a real mean sumbitch.
“For f**k’s sake. Have you got nothing else to talk about?” was Neymar’s recent response when asked about wild speculation linking him with a transfer to Real Madrid. No, is now the Spanish media’s resounding answer.
Here at The18, we typically steer clear of transfer rumor nonsense fueled by nothing more than the strange fancies of dubious websites because we’re not hacks. That’s why our award-winning staff is so often likened to German dachshunds with regards to the transfer market — we sniff out the nonsense and we piss on it.
Borussia Dortmund’s sobering 3-1 home defeat to Bayern Munich on Saturday contained only two redeeming qualities according to BVB manager Peter Bosz: the support of the club’s famous Yellow Wall and the play of 19-year-old American attacker Christian Pulisic.
Right when we thought things couldn't get worse for Chivas de Guadalajara, a shocking rumor comes roaring from overseas: The Mirror has reported that Chivas manager Matias Almeyda is now a “shock contender” to succeed Craig Shakespeare as Leicester City manager.
Although there had been persistent talk that Almeyda’s days managing Chivas were numbered, nothing had yet been solidified.
On the back of Sunday’s Ligue 1 fiasco which saw Paris Saint-Germain beat a French opponent by only two goals, Edinson Cavani moved quickly to dismiss the simmering rumors of an irrevocable fallout between himself and new boy Neymar.
The closing of the transfer window sees various plot lines reach a unifying crescendo: Leicester City, with their Premier League title and Champions League adventure now firmly behind them, are about to be torn apart. Monaco, already torn apart, are subject to further tearing. Barcelona still have Neymar cash to flush, and they’re giving any wide player that scored more than 10 league goals last season the eye.
With rabid Liverpool fans having allegedly crashed a flight-tracking website while investigating Virgil van Dijk's whereabouts, it has become clear that technology cannot be trusted at this moment. We must know where Virgil van Dijk is and what he is doing, and if technology proves unreliable to our cause then said technology must be binned. As such, I have taken to staring up at the sky in search of transfer news, and that has led me to a stunning revelation.
Mino Raiola, the footballing super agent with a clientele list including Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Paul Pogba, Romelu Lukaku and Gianluigi Donnarumma, believes that Lionel Messi must leave Barcelona to show the world that he’s good at football.