Goals

A magnificent Jamie Vardy goal put the Foxes in front early in Leicester City’s match against Tottenham on Tuesday. Less than 13 minutes into the match, Vardy first-timed a lobbed pass over Spurs keeper Hugo Lloris in impressive fashion.

Vardy apparently does not care about level of difficulty. He just wants to score. Vardy entered Tuesday with a five-match scoreless streak and he ended it in style. 

FC Magdeburg scored a 2-1 derby win over Hallescher on Saturday in Germany’s 3. Liga in front of 22,481 fans. The impressive crowd — more than many MLS matches despite being third tier — saw an absurd Christian Beck back-heel goal the likes of which we’ve never seen before.

A 29-year-old striker who has spent his career in the lower divisions of Germany, Beck made the most out of a mistimed jumped to score the opener for Magdeburg, somehow.

You know Paul Marcarelli. He’s the guy that used to work for Verizon Wireless. He’d go out into the woods and viewers at home would wishfully think that they were on the verge of seeing him devoured by a pack of scavenging wolves. Instead, he’d pull out his flip phone and go, “Can you hear me now? Gooood.” 

He then switched to Sprint, a clever marketing mimicry that we were all supposed to follow, but who really gives a sh*t. Paul Marcarelli works for Zulte-Waregem’s Brian Hamalainen now.