Despite finally ending his La Liga goal drought against Malaga on Saturday, Cristiano Ronaldo is having a no-good, very bad season so far in Spain. Luckily, Cristiano Jr. is here to pick up the slack.
Ronaldo posted a video on Instagram of his son hitting a sweet free kick in a youth game. Gosh, I wonder where he learned to do that?
This is 26-year-old Scunthorpe United midfielder Josh Morris, aka the Maestro, aka the Commander-in-swazz, aka the purest two-footed footballer we’ve seen since Socrates was strolling around parks at Spain ’82. Morris was the designer, creator, originator and producer of two of the finest curlers of the 2017-18 season so far, and he scored them in the span of two second half minutes.
You know Paul Marcarelli. He’s the guy that used to work for Verizon Wireless. He’d go out into the woods and viewers at home would wishfully think that they were on the verge of seeing him devoured by a pack of scavenging wolves. Instead, he’d pull out his flip phone and go, “Can you hear me now? Gooood.”
He then switched to Sprint, a clever marketing mimicry that we were all supposed to follow, but who really gives a sh*t. Paul Marcarelli works for Zulte-Waregem’s Brian Hamalainen now.
If we’re being perfectly honest here, this all really boils down to the quality of the assist in the final passage of play. The clipped, first-time dink hits the runner in stride and leads to the goal, but we mustn’t play down how the runner managed to streak unmarked into the area in the first place. That was accomplished via a somersault.
It’s a perfectly executed somersault simply because the footballer turned gymnast didn’t break his own neck. I think that’s really the only standard that exists with regards to this particular acrobatic exercise.
So we’re 10 match days into Serie A action and the stupid levels of excitement coming out of Italy show no signs of abating. After Wednesday’s midweek matches, we find Napoli at the top of the table with INTER MILAN two points back. Right behind them we have six-time defending champions Juventus and then Lazio. We’d be remiss not to mention Roma as well — they still have a game in hand on the clubs above them.