Europe

Key Arsenal Player Won’t Travel To Europa League Final Due To Another Stupid UEFA Decision

Arsenal announced his official decision on Tuesday, and Gooners everywhere are cursing UEFA for it.

Henrikh Mkhitaryan will not travel to Baku, Azerbaijan, for the Europa League final against Chelsea because his safety cannot be guaranteed by UEFA or Azerbaijan. 

16-Year-Old Wonderkid Karamoko Dembele Made His Celtic Debut This Weekend

Celtic had another historic season in Scotland. The Hoops beat Rangers to the title and qualified for the Champions League yet again. Even with the departure of now-Leicester City manager Brendan Rodgers, Neil Lennon kept Glasgow’s green and white on course and kept the Scottish Premiership trophy on the green side of Glasgow.

DeAndre Yedlin Cracks Premier League’s Top 5 Fastest Players; Fulham Goalie Somehow Makes Top 10

The list of the 10 fastest Premier League players from the 2018-19 season is out, and the man at the top of the rankings is a bit of a surprise. But the biggest surprise is the position of the man coming in at No. 9.

Neymar Had A Really Good Reason For Missing Mbappé Win All The Ligue 1 Awards (It Wasn’t The Game Of Thrones Finale)

Paris Saint-Germain’s Kylian Mbappé was awarded the National Union Of Professional Footballers’ Ligue 1 Player of the Year and Young Player of the Year awards at an event on Sunday night.

His PSG strike partner Neymar was nowhere to be found, despite being in Paris.

But the Brazilian had a really good reason to miss out on the award ceremony, and it had nothing to do with the Game of Thrones finale. 

Ronaldo Receives Serie A Player Of Year Trophy; Juventus Celebrates 2 Scudettos

Cristiano Ronaldo received his award for being named Serie A Player of the Year on Sunday, one of three trophies lifted by Juventus on a celebratory day in Turin. 

Ronaldo was given the Serie A Player of the Year trophy at halftime of a match against Atalanta, which ended in a 1-1 draw.

Ronaldo tallied 21 goals and eight assists in 31 Serie A appearances in his first season in Italy after moving from Spain. Real Madrid certainly missed him, scoring exactly 31 fewer goals in 2018-19, the amount Ronaldo accounted for in last season’s LaLiga campaign. 

Paderborn’s Remarkable Return To Bundesliga Could Only Have Been Penned By George R.R. Martin

The finale of Game of Thrones is Sunday night, an end to the dramatic arc that has taken eight years to reach its climax. Fans of the HBO series have seen despicable characters made lovable, lovable characters become hated and sorrowful figures become legend. But Game of Thrones has got nothing on what SC Paderborn 07 has been through, ending with an unlikely third Paderborn promotion in six seasons on Sunday. 

Real Madrid Horror Season Ends With Zidane Denying Bale Chance To Say Goodbye

Real Madrid completed its worst season in nearly 20 years with a 2-0 defeat to Real Betis on Sunday at the Bernabeu. Los Blancos’ return of 68 points was its worst since the 2001-02 season and they finished farther behind Barcelona than any time in the LaLiga era. 

The season of futility, a massive failure to overcome the loss of Cristiano Ronaldo, resulted in a third-place finish, 19 points shy of Barcelona and eight points back of crosstown rival Atletico Madrid. The only redeeming quality of the season was ensuring Champions League play for next season.

Messi Scores Two In 102 Seconds To Reassert European Golden Boot Lead Over Mbappé

PSG’s Kylian Mbappé scored two goals in a 4-0 rout of Dijon on Saturday to move within two of Lionel Messi in the race for the 2019 European Golden Boot. It took the span of 102 seconds for Messi to reassert his lead.

Messi scored in the 31st and 32nd minutes for his 35th and 36th goals of the season, wrapping up the LaLiga Golden Boot/Pichichi Trophy and giving the Argentine the inside track to the European honor.

Hector Herrera Caps Six Years At Porto With 87th-Minute Scissor-Kick Goal To Beat Rival Sporting

Hector Herrera’s time at Porto is coming to an end. But he’s leaving on a high note after a stunning, match-winning, scissor-kick goal against Sporting on Saturday.

The handsome Mexican midfielder has been a mainstay in the Portuguese side since moving from Pachuca in 2013, perhaps never more so than this past season, in which Herrera scored nine goals across all competitions.

Pep Guardiola’s Reaction To Man City’s Sixth Goal Sums Up Our Feelings On Boring FA Cup Final

Manchester City demolished Watford 6-0 in the FA Cup final on Saturday at Wembley. It was an expected result and the Hornets were never really in it, even if it was just a two-goal game at halftime. 

The win wrapped up a domestic treble (quadruple if you count the mostly meaningless Community Shield), the first ever in England. 

So dominant were the Citizens that their coach, Pep Guardiola, was made extremely uncomfortable by the final score. After Raheem Sterling completed his hat trick to make it 6-0, Guardiola’s reaction said a lot.

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