Champions League

Jose Mourinho likes to call himself the Special One and pump up his accomplishments. But right now, he’s just the Lucky One. 

He’s lucky to have David De Gea in goal making otherworldly saves. He’s lucky to not have VAR in the Champions League or Premier League, helping his club score late goals. And he’s lucky that water bottles are not sentient beings who fight back.

Much like the Imperial AT-ST Walker trod across the Endor forest floor, crushing the skulls of small Ewoks beneath its step, so is the Juventus Galactic Empire squeezing the life out of its opponents faces. 

We’re only a third of the way through the season, but an eight-point lead in Serie A feels pretty unassailable for the back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back Italian champions, and Tuesday's 1-0 win over Valencia in Turin at Allianz Stadium secured passage to the Champions League Round of 16 for the fifth straight season.

Real Madrid has had its ups and downs — mostly downs — this season since the departure of what’s-his-name. Fortunately for Los Blancos, their biggest competition in the Champions League group stage is having an equally tough go of it this season, which was perfectly embodied by a pitiful AS Roma miss from close range on Tuesday in Rome.

Arjen Robben went some way toward saving the job of Bayern Munich manager Niko Kovač (for now) while simultaneously getting Benfica manager Rui Vitória sacked after giving his side an early lead in the Champions League on Tuesday.

With both sides struggling mightily domestically (Bayern’s fifth in the Bundesliga; Benfica’s fourth in the Primeira Liga), the scrutiny on both managers this week had been intense.