Champions League

Welcome to the second tier, Borussia Dortmund and Atletico Madrid. Sure you’ve been a part of three of the last five Champions League finals, but sweet Thursday night road trips are in your future after finishing third in your respective UCL groups to earn the Europa League parachute. 

Atletico played in the Champions League final in 2014 and 2016, losing to crosstown rival Real Madrid both times. Los Colchoneros are ranked No. 2 in UEFA’s club coefficients, a rating score based on the previous five seasons of European play.

Bayern-PSG ended with the Parisians taking their second loss this week. Bayern's 3-1 victory was more of a victory in the moral sense, as they had basically no chance of winning the group thanks to goal differential. However, Bayern can hold their heads high knowing they can still compete with the best teams in Europe. As recently as a few months ago that was debatable.

It was all Lil B's doing, obviously.

The battle for the Champions League group stage is over. The battle for the Champions League knockout rounds is about to begin. But we have to wait a couple months. 

The final group stage matches on Wednesday set the teams for the Champions League Round of 16, with eight group winners and eight group runners-up facing off. The draw to determine the matchups will be held on Dec. 11 in Nyon, Switzerland.

Manchester United wrapped up top spot in UEFA Champions League Group A on Tuesday with a 2-1 victory over CSKA Moscow at Old Trafford. Moscow took a shock first half lead before Romelu Lukaku and Marcus Rashford scored in quick succession to restore their side’s advantage for good.

FIFA wants to do away with the limited-appeal Confederations Cup. Perhaps enamored by the financial success of the Avengers movies, FIFA wants to follow suit with a 24-team Super Club World Cup. The summer tournament would bring in the best clubs from around the world every four years like some sort of Infinity War, because super heroes are better than regular, old, boring heroes. 

Barcelona’s assured display in a 0-0 draw with Juventus on Wednesday guaranteed the Blaugrana top spot in Champions League Group D, and with Lionel Messi spending the better part of the opening hour on the bench in Turin, the usual Barca suspects came to the fore to help their side navigate this tricky tie. 

Celtic has a lot to be proud of, most notably a 64-match domestic unbeaten streak that’s left the rest of Scotland with absolutely nothing to do. But in Champions League play, the Bhoys have gotten a little taste of their own medicine. While the Scottish Premiership bows down to the might of Celtic, Ligue 1 and the Bundesliga must similarly contend with Hoops’ UCL group stage opponents Paris Saint-Germain and Bayern Munich. 

Barcelona-Juventus ended 0-0 and Messi only made a substitute appearance, but there was plenty of incredible soccer to go around. For example, in the first half Barcelona midfielder Sergio Busquets found himself being pressed by Juventus midfielder Miralem Pjanic. Did Busquets safely pass the ball back to a center half or his goalkeeper? No. Did he panic and hoof the pall up the pitch in the general direction of Luis Suarez? No.

Instead, Busquets calmly (and slowly) gave Pjanic the ol' Zidane roulette before (still slowly) skipping away and finding Ivan Rakitic.

Thanksgiving (if you’re in the United States) is here and while most Americans equate that with home-cooked meals, France’s Antoine Griezmann has something a little tastier for you this holiday. With Atletico Madrid needing a win to keep its Champions League hopes alive, this Griezmann goal vs Roma was more sumptuous than a well-cooked turkey and sweeter than your favorite pie fresh out of the oven. 

Griezmann struck a glorious scissor-kick goal in the 69th minute, sparking the home side to a 2-0 victory on Wednesday at the Wanda. 

We posited on Tuesday that Liverpool’s Roberto Firmino is the most disrespectful player in the game. But Firmino does his dirty deeds to opponents. Ricardo Quaresma is disrespectful to referees. Which is worse?

Before Firmino scored his naughty no-look goal against Sevilla, Besiktas winger Quaresma pulled off this little maneuver, nutmegging the assistant referee while waiting to take a corner kick against Porto in their Champions League match.