Amazing

The 11 Best Goals From The Midway Point Of The 2017 MLS Season

Regardless of where you stand in your level of MLS fandom, there’s no denying that the league provides an abundance of goals. In 2017, 659 have been scored through 225 games — good for an average of 2.93 per match. Horrific defending from the likes of Minnesota United, Real Salt Lake and DC United certainly helps to elevate this number, but we’re not complaining.

Watch Barcelona Transform Bougie NYC Hotel Room Into Stanky Equipment Locker

If you saw the bellboy wheeling a few of these metallic cases down the hall, each clearly denoted as hands off material with a dozen locks keeping its contents guarded, you’d probably react like Ludacis in “Rollout (My Business)”: what in the world is in that bag, what you got in that bag?

For the FC Barcelona roadies, it’s a pair of one of a kind adidas Nemeziz 17s handcrafted especially for Lionel Messi, the latest range of Blaugrana training gear and Andre Gomes under lock and key.

10-Year-Old Messi Was Freaky Good, Like, Freakier Than The Omen

No disrespect to Lionel Messi, but if your 10-year-old kid started doing this one day in the backyard, would you think “Gee, little Jimmy’s sure showing an inclination towards soccer” or would you think “Gee, little Jimmy may literally be the Devil incarnate”?

Based on a genetic family history more prone to madness than to footballing excellence, I’d opt for the latter. No disrespect to Messi, but if my son were doing this, I’d check for a weird birthmark and ask my local priest for seven sacrificial daggers. 

This Is, Without A Doubt, The Best Goal You’ve Never Seen Before

Con seis delicados toques, Leonardo creó esta obra maestra en 1995 mientras jugaba con Kashima Antlers en la J1 League japonesa. Aún en el mejor momento de su carrera, el atacante se unió al Kashima después de la Copa del Mundo de 1994 cuando tenía 24 años.

Hulk Only Scores Wonder Goals, But This Is His Best Yet

Hulk and Shanghai SIPG took on bottom-of-the-table Yanbian Fude in the Chinese Super League today, and you can probably guess what happened. There’s really nothing more routine in the world of football right now than the monthly wonder goal from Hulk in Asia, it’s like clockwork.

Well, here’s your banger for the month of July from the Brazilian billionaire. 

El defensor alemán Philip Heise envía el balón en una alfombra mágica de 45 metros

Un amistoso entre el VfB Stuttgart de Alemania y el Dynamo Dresden se convirtió en una escena de Disney cuando Philip Heise del Dresden envió el balón hacia los lados y hacia abajo en una alfombra mágica.

El impacto, uno de esplendor brillante y reluciente, fue de 45 metros y, como una estrella fugaz, llegó tan lejos sin esperanza de volver a donde solía estar.

La bola era como un diamante en el cielo: se elevaba, rodaba y giraba libremente. Una vista increíble y una sensación indescriptible cuando el balón se precipitó hacia la red.

100 Schoolchildren Steamroll Dundee FC Using 33-33-33 Formation

The Gegenpress got together with Total Football and gave birth to 100 children before dispatching them in a 33-33-33 formation for a 24-minute friendly against Scotland’s Dundee FC on Thursday. After six minutes of prematch handshakes, the latest footballing ideology smashed the opposition 5-2.

Algerian Attacker Ziri Hammar Absolutely Laces One

If you put your ear close enough to your device’s audio speaker, you can hear this shot whistle. I s**t you not, whether you're at the office, on the bus or in a public library, play the video again but put your ear right next the speaker like its a seashell and turn it way, way up.

That’s the rushing sound of Ziri Hammar just lacing a shot for Algerian club USM Alger against Zimbabwe’s CAPS United in the CAF Champions League group stage. 

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