Gerard Pique crashed a dune buggy. This is not an uncommon occurrence in the dune buggy world, as dune buggies tend to give one a shot of adrenaline that forces one to press the gas pedal down as far as it will go while making an extremely sharp turn and ending up upside-down in a cloud of dust.
That said, is there anyone on Barcelona who would be able to resist these temptations, while still driving a dune buggy with the verve and the exuberance that a dune buggy demands? We speculated:
Gerard Pique: No.
Jordi Alba: The player on Barcelona who looks the most like a chauffer, so he could probably drive a dune buggy pretty good.
Samuel Umtiti: Umtiti would be steady. If you needed someone to drive a dune buggy through extremely dangerous terrain without crashing, he'd be your guy. Not much on the tricks and such, he would save his talent for when he really needed it. Umtiti may be the most talented dune buggy driver on Barcelona, but he wouldn't be very much fun.
Luis Suarez: Feels like he would have dune-rage issues.
Lionel Messi: Hard to say. I doubt his dribbling skills translate to the dunes, but traits like creativity and coordination manifest themselves in strange places sometimes. I'm going to say he'd be like a fun uncle, driving at the edge of complete safety but never doing anyting actually dangerous. He just wants you to have a good time and not get hurt.
Neymar: Hell no. Remember that time he crashed his Ferrari on the way to the airport for an away game? No. Absolutely not.
Andre Gomes: He would definitely crash. This is indisputable.
Andres Iniesta: Looks like he'd be a responsible, if not very fun, driver. Safety first, though.
Ivan Rakitic: Ivan Rakitic looks like Goku. This video exists:
So no.
Sergio Busquets: Sergio Busquets is a cop. He is driving you to jail in a dune buggy.
Javier Mascherano: I think Mascherano would be the best. He gives off a "your dad's friend who used to race dirt bikes and has all sorts of snowmobiles, ATVs, dune buggies and the like in a metal building on his property" vibe. I am absolutely riding with Javier Mascherano.
Jasper Cillessen: You would either have the best dune buggy ride ever or die in a fireball. Not sure which, though.
Sergi Roberto: I don't think Sergi Roberto is old enough to operate a motor vehicle.
Paco Alcacer: Also looks like a chauffer.
Arda Turan: Has a beard. Seems like he would be competent.
Feel free to debate my observations on Facebook. This is an important dialogue that needs to happen.
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