We Turned Footballers Into Museum Portraits And The Results Are Horrifying

Google’s Arts & Culture app allows you to take a selfie and realize your fine art doppelgänger after it goes about analyzing your biometric data, and according to The Guardian’s Arwa Mahdawi “the science behind it is scary” and “supports the rise of the surveillance state,” but whatever, you'll die soon and it’s good to have a laugh. 

Whether or not you want to download the app (you do, I just explored Bilbao’s Guggenheim museum in 360) and find your own corresponding museum portrait (you do, I’m William Watson by George Romney) is completely up to you, but here’s 30 footballing persons turned into oil paintings.

Viewer discretion advised.

Cristiano Ronaldo

Cristiano Ronaldo's Sculpture

Lionel Messi

Neymar

Franck Ribery

Alex Morgan

Ronaldinho

Carli Lloyd

Harry Kane

Luka Modric

Lieke Martens

Loris Karius (should be Michelangelo's David)

Mohamed Salah

Bruce Arena

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Peter Crouch

Alexi Lalas

Abby Wambach

Jose Mourinho

Pep Guardiola

Pierluigi Collina

Steven Gerrard

Luis Suarez

Carlos Valderrama

Zinedine Zidane

Mario Balotelli

Landon Donovan

Christian Pulisic

Pele

Diego Maradona