After watching Halloween Kills on Saturday, I can say with total conviction that Ole Gunnar Solskjær and Manchester United offered something much more horrific and spine-tingling on Sunday when capitulating to a 5-0 defeat to Liverpool at Old Trafford.
The absurdity of people who should really know better going after Michael Myers with a baseball bat? Try watching Harry Maguire and Victor Lindelöf playing together. The gore of Myers kicking a car door when about to be shot at, causing the shooter to redirect the gun on themselves? How about Paul Pogba (on at halftime) attempting to break Naby Keïta’s leg with his side trailing by five goals?
And if you thought the ending of Halloween Kills was shit, how about the comedy of Cristiano Ronaldo’s effort being chalked off for offside? Or United then transitioning into a 5-3-1 for the game’s final half-hour while Liverpool toyed with the home side?
Our match centre offering an accurate look of Man Utd’s midfield even when they have 11 players on the pitch pic.twitter.com/H5X09MIT58
— WhoScored.com (@WhoScored) October 24, 2021
The Theater of Dreams really became a Theater of Nightmares for Solskjær, and it was Mohamed Salah who took the slasher’s role with three goals and one assist. After finishing above Liverpool last season and spending lavishly in the summer window, it looks like United needs more than a manager who’s main tactic, to continue the analogy, is to drone on about how great the 1978 Halloween was while delivering shit that goes straight-to-streaming on Peacock.
Manchester United Vs. Liverpool 5-0 Highlights
5th minute: Liverpool easily plays through United’s press, and Salah slips through Keïta for the opener. 1-0.
A DREAM START FOR LIVERPOOL!
Two goals in the first 15 minutes stuns the Old Trafford crowd. #MyPLMorning pic.twitter.com/2B0iKJWXFZ— NBC Sports Soccer (@NBCSportsSoccer) October 24, 2021
13th minute: Keïta plays it wide to Trent Alexander-Arnold, who drives a low cross for Diogo Jota to finish. 2-0.
¡SI, SI FUE GOL!
@DiogoJota18 aprovechó un regalo de la defensa del @ManUtd para definir el segundo❌ Terrible lo de @HarryMaguire93 y @LukeShaw23
Disfruta del partido en la APP Telemundo Deportes ➡️ https://t.co/x8HDb80G7I#LigaPremierTD pic.twitter.com/8UG5uqz45A
— Telemundo Deportes (@TelemundoSports) October 24, 2021
38th minute: A deflection falls for Keïta out wide, and he picks out Salah six yards from goal. 3-0.
SALAH!
Mo has scored in 10 straight games and Liverpool are tearing Manchester United to pieces. #MyPLMorning pic.twitter.com/IBBMjf5ETM— NBC Sports Soccer (@NBCSportsSoccer) October 24, 2021
45+5’: Jota finds Salah. 4-0.
WE'RE ON MO SALAH HAT TRICK WATCH! #MyPLMorning pic.twitter.com/v640hAPhhg
— NBC Sports Soccer (@NBCSportsSoccer) October 24, 2021
50th minute: Jordan Henderson’s incredible ball releases Salah for his hat-trick. 5-0.
SALAH HAT TRICK! #MyPLMorning pic.twitter.com/DjgX3e2FvG
— NBC Sports Soccer (@NBCSportsSoccer) October 24, 2021
51st minute: Sir Alex Ferguson reacts.
— Men in Blazers (@MenInBlazers) October 24, 2021
52nd minute: Ronaldo pulls one back? Nope. Offside.
¡NOS QUEDAMOS CON LAS GANAS DE GRITARLO!
¿Estuvo bien marcado? ¡Te leemos!
Disfruta del partido en la APP Telemundo Deportes ➡️ https://t.co/x8HDb80G7I#LigaPremierTD pic.twitter.com/TkWV8QvqGq
— Telemundo Deportes (@TelemundoSports) October 24, 2021
61st minute: Pogba is sent off.
¡ROJA PARA @paulpogba!
Lo que le faltaba al @ManUtd: se queda con 10 jugadoresUna plancha Naby Keita que hizo el francés, lo manda al vestidor
¿Bien sancionada?
Disfruta del partido en la APP Telemundo Deportes ➡️ https://t.co/x8HDb80G7I#LigaPremierTD pic.twitter.com/p2PZ9bjqZY
— Telemundo Deportes (@TelemundoSports) October 24, 2021
65th minute: Old Trafford empties.
Scenes at Old Trafford 65 minutes in, down 5-0. pic.twitter.com/Bt1TxPUdDt
— NBC Sports Soccer (@NBCSportsSoccer) October 24, 2021
Liverpool moves to second-place with the win, one point behind Chelsea. Manchester United is in seventh, behind West Ham, Brighton and Spurs.